Selected Perfection

05-The Decision

Dad, Alana and Tristan await me outside of the testing facilities. Each of their faces reveal a different emotion, but my gaze remains stuck on Alana: she looks crestfallen. Her eyes barely raise from the ground as I approach. Her arms circle around her waist as though she were hugging herself. Even her dress looks depressed, sagging around her body as though forgetting the curves it previously displayed. Tristan has a reassuring hand resting upon her shoulder, but aside from that, his demeanor is angry. I recognize the crease between his brows better than most. At a glance, many might simply assume him to be deep in thought or worried. After many experiences, I have learned that crease means something is seriously wrong. My dad merely looks sad. Mom is always the one to comfort Alana and me, and I doubt he knows what to do with her current demeanor.

A crack sounds from under my footstep announcing my presence. Alana immediately wipes her eye with the back of her hand and offers me a small smile. She opens her mouth to speak, but is cut off by Tristan. "Let's head out then, yeah?"

My dad quickly follows him, but Alana pauses and brushes a piece of my hair back before we continue. As we walk, Mr. Jones' eyes burry into my back. Constance had explained that he was here both for my protection and The Paragon's. Clearly he was meant to keep me in check and ensure that I don't spill any secrets, but his job was also to ensure no one attacks me. Before they implemented this system, she explained, there were times where applicants would take out those who passed in an attempt to take their place. She had scoffed as she explained this, laughing at the idea that someone would even think such a thing. It wasn't so funny to me—not only because I would be in that situation but because I could understand why someone might stoop to that level. If I knew there was no other way to survive, would that really be so out of the question? I hope so, I just wish I knew so.

We sit around a table at our go-to diner. Alana and I have been here so many times the waiter doesn't even need to ask for our order. I wring my fingers together to distract from the awkward silence that is enveloping our table and Tristan moves his hand to my thigh to comfort me. My dad at last clears his throat and swirls the honey colored liquid around his cup before announcing, "Based on your faces I have a pretty good guess of how the tests went. Unless anyone wants to talk about it all I have to say is Alana, I'm proud of all the studying you did. Tristan, they're all idiots for not taking you. And Iliana, I'm just grateful that you will have Tristan here with you." His words grate against my heart. By now one would think I'd be used to his expectations being nothing more than expected disappointment, but it still hurts. Perhaps it hurts worse now because I did pass.

"Thanks dad," Alana nods in his direction. "And I'm proud of all of us. No matter what the outcome was I know Tristan and Iliana worked their asses off and we all have bright futures ahead of us." Something doesn't make sense. If part of why they took me was because I am a twin and biologically fraternal twins produce more children, why wouldn't they take Alana?

Tristan catches the frown on my face and squeezes my thigh gently, misunderstanding my expression. "Well-" I start to say, to correct their assumption.

"Really, I don't think there is anything more to be said about that damn test." Tristan clicks his tongue and shakes his head. "They're all idiots. Honestly, I bet they're just looking for some brainless bimbos-"

"I passed," I cut him off before he can fall into a full rant. My words silence not only the table, but those around us. Mr. Jones even raises an eyebrow from his stance at the bar. I clear my throat and repeat myself, "They told me I passed. I have twenty four hours to choose if I want to go."

I thought there would be more of a reaction, but they're all frozen. Tristan is the first to speak, "This isn't a funny joke Ily. It's fine that you didn't get in. Everyone failed. Like I said, it's probably not even real. I'm willing to be no one actually-"