Undivided Attention

Wtf do i want...

I sat, eyes down as I swirled my pink gin. My ears caught all the sounds that the bar composed of, the chatter, the music, the laughter, that annoying laughter that made you seriously think what could actually be so funny. But deep down I knew I was just annoyed, borderline miserable and lonely as I sat on the worn out high stool in a black mini dress and heels, shivering here and there because I decided to look cute tonight and abandon my comfort.

Why did I get dressed up? Because im single, lonely and in desperate need of attention...but from the right guy. To be honest I think at this point with how quickly and frequently im turning down guys before they even speak to me I might actually end up being a single cat lady at 70. But its not my fault, its not my fault I don't get impressed by their lazy tactics in trying to chat me up or how uninteresting the conversation goes. Its also not my fault if I am not attracted to them. I am a tall girl hence automatically Im looking for a mini giant, I also need that priceless and effortless charm, the cold side smile he does while he listens to me when he pretends he's not? That kind of thing.

10 o clock on the dot just as I felt a heavy presence to my right. I turned my head ever so slightly and watched him as he settled and ordered a glass of whiskey. My eyes wandered him up and down as my brain rolled its eyes and directed me back to my drink.

"don't give me that look"

I turned my head back to him slightly with a confused expression as I asked him, "what look".

"the kinda look you give before you judge a guy before you think they've even noticed you"

I stayed silent.

"The names Jack."

"When did you notice me Jack?" I asked as I took the last sip of my now diluted drink.

"soon as I walked in the door more or less." He signaled to the bartender to get me a refill before turning his face back to me.

I saw him scan my body from my peripheral vision as I watched the bartender pour me another glass and my brain rolled even harder than last time. I signed heavily making my chest rise and puff which he caught site of.

"Are you here alone?" he took a sip of his glass then circled it with his wrist before setting it down again.

"yes" I was close to adding 'unfortunately' but I bit my tongue. "You?"

He took another sip. "I don't need a friend to drink a fine glass of Whiskey, although a pretty girl like you makes it go down a whole lot easier."

I lifted my glass and downed the entire pink substance. A year ago that would have given me butterflies. Its moments like this that I kick myself and really get confused. I want attention.. I mean I think I do. So how come when its given I feel nothing. What kind of attention do I need exactly and how do I get it before developing the ick so fast, or in other words how can I overcome it and let myself relax in the attention I give him.

"Well... Jack... sorry to ruin your party of 2 but my bus will be arriving soon. Thanks for the drink." I stood up and put on my jacket that was literally made for aesthetic and useless for warmth. I pulled down my dress before bending over the stool to get my bag. Either I turned back around too quickly, or he just didn't care but he made sure to get an eyeful of my ass before saying "Where do you live? I can drop you off, my pleasure of course."

I laughed. "Enjoy your drink."

I took my bag and left towards the door making sure to at least leave a good impressionable walk. As I opened the door the wind pushed it open and along came the sprinkles of rain as lightening took the perfect moment to reveal itself. I stood feeling all the elements at play as I slowly turned around to meet his gaze. He revealed a slow smile as he dangled his keys at me. I sighed, smiled and nodded faintly at him. He downed his drink and paid before taking his coat and standing up. My gaze stood still as my brain only just registered how tall he was. Way taller than me. And he had an amazing build to compliment it. He was a big guy.