cigarette ends | ✎

xxi.

"Is that why he popped by for a visit? Because he knew you were here and he lived close by?" My jaw clenched at the thought.

Emilia nodded from beside me. "Long distance from across the entire country was pretty hard. He started getting distant and a little toxic. He never flew over to me, so I always had to fly over to him with the little money I made. I worked an extra job just to pay for the flights.

"Then, one day, I decided to fly over and surprise him. When I got there..." She shook her head. "He was in bed with another girl."

"That motherfucker," I muttered.

Emilia nodded her head in agreement. "I thought I loved him. But now, I realize it was just because I had no one else."

Her admission struck something deep inside of me. "Were you sad? After you found out?"

She shrugged. "For a day or two, I was upset. Until I realized that I had better things to do with my time than be sad over a boy who didn't give a shit about me. For example, outscoring you on every test was a better use of my time." She shot me a grin.

I chuckled. "So, why didn't you block him?"

She let out a slow breath. "He was my best friend before we started dating. We both had tragic things happen to our family that landed us in the orphanage. I guess a subconscious part of me wanted that friendship back." She looked at me then, a smirk on her lips. "But he's blocked now. His contact and the location app we used to share is deleted. To be honest, I forgot I still had that app and that he could still track me."

"I'm glad," I said. "You know, you always have Aurora or Lacey to talk to. And, if you're really desperate, you can talk to me, I guess," I joked.

"God forbid I ever speak about my problems to Augustus Casen," she answered sarcastically. "But thank you."

Before I could ask her anything else, both of our phones lit up. I glanced at the notification from Lacey in our groupchat.

psychotic nerds

Lacey: Are you guys up for some fun tonight?

Callum: Always. Does it involve tequila?

Rohan: Define "fun".

Lacey: Yes, Callum. And Rohan, you'll find out. We're meeting in the hotel lobby at 8pm.

Aurora: This isn't illegal, is it?

Lacey: ...Hopefully not.

✦✧✦✧ 

The day rolled by quickly. Emilia and I pretty much spent the whole day in the room, studying and reading. For both lunch and dinner, we went out to eat together. I didn't say it to her, but I was proud that she was eating consistently now.

Before we knew it, 8:00pm came and we were stuffing on our shoes to go meet Lacey and the others downstairs.

"What do you think she planned for us?" I asked Emilia on our ride down the elevator.

"Who knows? Knowing Lacey, she probably planned a bank robbery."

I chuckled, because that was accurate. I wouldn't put it past Lacey to do something akin to planning a bank heist.

We arrived in the lobby and met with the others, who were already there.

"So, where are we going?" Rohan asked as she led us out the hotel exit.

"I found out there's a small lake nearby. No running water, but they keep it fresh, so it's clean." Lacey raised her brows, then beamed in excitement. "We're going skinny dipping."

"Oh god," I muttered.

"Cheer up, Augie," Callum said. "We don't have to all go swimming. There's a bonfire pit right next to the lake, so we can sit there as well."

I glanced over at Emilia. I didn't have any problems swimming, but I knew that she might.

However, she didn't look phased. In fact, she almost looked... excited.

The lake wasn't too far of a walk away. Luckily, Lacey had packed towels for all of us and Callum brought enough ingredients to start a fire and make s'mores.

I helped Callum start a fire while everyone brought around some logs to sit on.

"Is this private property?" I asked Lacey once the fire had started.

"Not that I know of," she replied.

Once we were all settled and Lacey had passed out our respective towels, she started taking her shoes off. "Who's ready to go skinny dipping?"

I stifled my groan as everyone started undressing and heading toward the wooden dock overlooking the lake.

"Are you going?" I asked Emilia, who still remained by my side.

She smirked, standing and sliding off her shoes. "Of course. C'mon."

"Are you sure you want to go?" I followed her to the dock where the others were already starting to jump into the lake.

"I'll be fine. Lakes don't scare me," she responded.

I tried not to stare as she took off her clothes, leaving her in scraps of undergarments that I could barely make out in the darkness. But some traitorous part of me wanted to see her like this in the light. Wanted to explore every inch of her skin with my tongue.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. Creep. I slid off my T-shirt in a fluid motion, then offered it to her.

"Do you want to wear this? It's kind of cold in the lake." But the unspoken meaning was there: do you want to wear this to cover your scars?

She accepted it with a smile. "Thank you."

I didn't miss the way her gaze skimmed over my body before she sat on the dock and slid into the lake. I followed and we swam to join the others.

Something about this moment was almost... peaceful. Watching Emilia smile and laugh did something to my stomach. Playing a part in her happiness despite everything she had gone through felt like a reward.

It was then, as I watched her laugh and look over at me, the night sky glittering in the reflection of her eyes, that I realized I might not hate Emilia at all.

hi everyone!

i'm late, but happy new year! 2024 is our year, i can feel it ;)

after this chapter, i'll hopefully get back to regular updates on Mondays! i restart school next tuesday but i'll try my hardest to keep updates consistent.

thank you all for reading and i'll see you all in chapter 22!