When The Devil's Tamed (FreenBecky AU)

Chapter 24: Disappointments

I want to wipe her tears away but my body doesn't want to move, I just stare at her like an idiot who doesn't know how to talk.

"Is it true that you're Freen? The Freen whom they feared?" She asked, and my heart sank.

I couldn't open my mouth to lie and deny. I don't want to lie to her, to deny who I really am. I want her to know every part of me but how can I do that when the moment she arrived in my life I began to see how sinful I am?

"Becca..." I muttered but no sentences can be formed after saying her name. Staring at her disappointed eyes, my heart felt like I was stabbed more times that I could count.

"Answer me, Ms. Sarocha. It's just a yes or no question." She said, more like begging.

After a minute of contemplating, I took a deep sigh and smile bitterly.

"Yes, Becca. I am Freen." I said. An out of my will confession.

In the first place, how did she know that?

One person who has the guts to tell her that.

Saint.

Just thinking of his name, I could feel my anger building up.

"The Freen that kills people? The same Freen who bombed a certain building because a group of men didn't acknowledge your deal? The Freen whom they call, 'devil'?" She asked and every word she lets out is accompanied by sobs and everytime I hear her sobs, my heart shatters into pieces.

I guess she knew that from the news and articles, I just know I couldn't deny because there's literally evidence everywhere.

This hurts. Fuck.

Lord, have mercy on me.

My heart hurts.

With a forced smile and a reminder who I really am, I admit all her descriptions of me.

"Yes, I am THAT Freen, Becca."

She didn't utter any word after. She just cried and cried. I can't hug her, I feel like if I do I'll stain her with all the blood and flesh I hold.

This same hands who I used to kill.

This same hands who threatened the not-so-innocent.

This same hands- that craved for her warmth.

I want to hug her and kiss her.

But she doesn't deserve a blood stained hands, does she? I know that much.

"You were the best person I knew, Ms. Sarocha. Are you lying to me this whole time? Is your feelings real? Can you even love a person?" She asked. One question after the other. I didn't reply, I feel like if I talk more than one sentence I'll burst into tears and cry like a madman.

Her words hurt, it's like she began to think that none of it is real when everything I've done for her is the only truth I show to anyone.

The way she looks at me hurts more, it's like she's in denial with everything. It's like she's begging me to tell her that none of what she said is true.

But it is the truth and eventually, it'll come around.

Specially when Saint is in the picture.

And I know damn well how to get rid of a certain rat in my life.

After a moment of silence, she spoke again.

"Ms. Sarocha, I do love you but I can't love a criminal. You knew that, specially when you sign me up to be a lawyer." She said, I just gave her a smile and shrug.

Criminal. I've been called worse than that but when it came straight from her mouth, it broke me.

I took a deep sigh to restrain the pain in my heart, I have to talk without crying. I have to.

"I know but it's your dream to be one and I want to help you with that despite the obvious outcome that we'll be enemies in the name of the law." I said and smile.

"I love you, Becca. That's the truth, along with my not-so-good identity." I said and smile as I grab my keys and a hand held case that I pull out of my drawer.

"Let's call it a day. I have an appointment today, I'll be away for who knows how long." I said and grab my things, I just know I'm on the verge of killing anyone I see and before that happens, I have to get out of here.

"I love you, Becca." I said and shut the door.

I can't help but tell her that, I feel like I have to- who am I kidding? I just know that I want to tell her that, every seconds, minutes, hours

Without hesitation.

Now, I have to find a certain rat to torture to get this anger out of me.

Where the hell is Saint?

[End of Chapter 24]

Author's Note:

Hello everyone! Belated happy new year! How are you guys doing? It's been awhile :)

I have the energy to publish a chapter. I've been accepting donations for my medications but I can't rely on that alone despite it being a very big help for me, so I guess soon I have to sell my phone. I'll have to find another device where I can write my chapters and it's gonna take a while.

Just know that I love you all!

xoxo