Sight at First Love (2024)

01: WHO'S FINN?

"..what is happening to you? you were nothing like this before.."

"YOU'RE A DISGRACE FROM THIS FAMILY!"

"how can you be like this? I'm really dissapointed."

"WHY CAN'T YOU BE JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER?!"

"EVERYONE HATES YOU
EVERYONE HATES YOU
EVERYONE HATES YOU
EVERYONE HATES YOU
EVERYONE HATES YOU
EVERYONE HATES-

STOPP!

..BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEE-

*SMACKED SOUNDS* [alarm almost broke because of smashing]

my eyes slowly opened with a blank face of mine.

"..i woke up....why?"

everyday is always the same, it's
like im stuck in a loop! why can't i just get over with this? this is very exhausting. ugh, for fuck's sake!

"finn! finn! wake up! we're gonna be late!" a yell by my mom as she knocks the door constantly. "coming!" i yelled back.

Today is New Year's eve. the year is about to end in a day. I did nothing but waste my time this year, ive always has been this unproductive, and for some reason, i dont know why. ive always faced the familiar disappointments from people to me as i fail my studies year by year since the pandemic started. it's just that, i have to study digitally and i really can't learn that way.

every day, my mom is complaning about it. I just really hope that someday, i wake up and make up these disappointments. but nah, i bet next year will just repeat the same struggles. perhaps if schools resume the face-to-face classes, learning will become more manageable to me. that's the only hope i have to erase these burdens atleast.

im currently in 8th grade. its been months passed since the school year started. i am so glad i am not a repeater this year. i thought my life would put to an end.

i always see myself as a wallflower, but not in the sense i always get bullied or doesnt have any friends. it's just that, i find myself distinctly different from others.

mom told me we'll celebrate new year's eve at my sister's place, which is pretty unusual since we never do this every year. telling me to pack all my things, the reason became clearer when i overheard her talking to lola (grandma) last night in a call. it seems I'll be living with my sister for awhile until the school year ends since it's clear that im having difficulty learning in this house. and unfortunately, they're gonna hire a tutor for me too. the most thing i really hate.

i think it's better somehow. mom doesn't really like me and always made me feel like i shouldn't be in this house. it's no use to be dramatic. but hey, im used to it, no need to worry about me.

the house isnt the only thing im going to leave. my dog, the house, my few sentimental stuff that is special to me and so much more. what most special is, my stuffs that dad gave me when he was still here. [finn looked at the frame of himself with his dad and eventually made a smile]

oh fuck, i forgot to brush my teeth.

* * * * *

well, it seems like im all set. took a shower, brushed my teeth, packed my things and wore these cool shirt. now ill just wait for my mom to call me, guess ill play some video games for awhile.

hmm let's see what can i play on my phone right now. subway surfers, sonic the hedgehog race, super mario, temple run? ..huh? these are horrible games to play! I'm not a kid anymore. i think it makes sense though, i dont usually use my phone because im always on my computer. but err let me download a new game.