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THE HOPE

Jungkook

"2:52 am."

"... She doesn't want to sleep. Her eyes were wide awake, hands are playing with each other, sometimes it holds their fingers, sometimes she sucked them on her little mouth. Her eyes looking at the bunny figures on the wall, she smiles thought it was funny for her."

"She's wearing purple with knitted cherry on the left. The fruits were moving around whenever her little legs pushing the pillow happily."

"But those cute moment the baby were doing is actually make her mother stressed."

"She wakes up at 1 am to changed her diapers. But she refused to drink her milk and choose to play instead. Until now, she shown no sign of sleepiness. She was still hyper with her own world."

"Her mother was just there watching her little baby girl with her sleepy eyes, hope that the help will come soon and make her baby sleepy so she could rest."

"When tiredness wiped over, they will forget to act nice, or rather using their sanity to behave."

"I'm stating the fact. Being mother never be easy, having baby is also a big decision. Because, not all husbands will willing to wake up in the middle of the night when their babies wake up to cry or just want to play. Woman bear that alone, mostly."

"The man that who doesn't cherished their wives is lost. They took care of their kids and family without willing anything in return. Yet they still get blamed when he found anything happen in the house imperfectly."

I look at the woman that has been my therapist for a year and a half. She want me to describe woman. And that's how my mind took leads. She smiled listening to me. Proud of what I've achieved of my long journey with her.

"Do you wanna have a child, Jungkook?" She ask, I look up and smile bitterly.

"No. Not until she divorced her husband and marry me. I want to have a child with her." My voice came out darkly and demanding, but that wasn't surprised her. She knew what's going on with my head and what I have been through.

"Have you try seeing someone else?"

"Yes."

Our sessions is now talking about partnerships. I'm interested.

"How was it?"

"Bored. We always end up in bed after long lame conversation at the cafe, and I have to disappear before her hopes high."

"What about settling with one woman?"

"I couldn't find one that fit my type. Not even close with her that I want." She's nod. Not forcing me to give a lecture of how I should behave, that's why I like her.

I lean forward to drink the tea she made me. Every time is different. This time is jasmine tea with sugar. She said it helps me relax but the point of relax is not because of the tea. It's was the calmness I have set on my head before I drink tea. The tea was just a little supporter.

"So, what's your plan for this weekend?" She ask out of the blue.

"Maybe visiting my grandparents in Busan. I don't know, I'll let my mother decide."

"How was Amy?"

"Good. She's busy at work."

They are a good friend even though my therapist was five years older, they made such a great friend whatsoever.

"Well, the session is over. And it's a lunch break. Do you have a plan?"

"Maybe asking Amy to have lunch with me. You wanna join us?"

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