the placebo effect ✘ jaywon

20: RIGHT HERE

Jungwon was gazing out the window as Jay drove, the early afternoon sunlight passing through the gaps of the trees that surrounded the road, making Jungwon's eyes look golden. The car ride to Jay's family home was peaceful. The two talked in the car until they couldn't anymore, and now Jungwon's staring at the view where they reach the sleepy neighborhood. He can't help but imagine teenage Jay, with his full bangs and patterned polo shirts, biking around the early morning.

"You should still come visit," Jay says, making Jungwon turn his attention to him. "When we 'break up,' you know. I feel like they'd be devastated if you just stop showing up completely."

"They've only met me once. They'll move on," Jungwon mutters. "Plus, when you fall in love with someone and bring them here, your parents will love them."

Jay glances at him. For a brief moment, their eyes met, but Jay's quick to look back at the road. He wants to say something, judging by how he opens his mouth to speak but he closes them again instantly, as if he was nine again and couldn't think of another comeback after Jungwon had thrown a bitter insult his way. Somehow, it feels similar. Like a slap to his face that leaves a burning feeling on his skin. But this time, he doesn't feel any anger, although it stings even more.

He doesn't say anything after that. Jungwon looks back at the window. The car is silent, only the sound of the car's speakers playing music could be heard. Jay keeps stealing glances at Jungwon and Jungwon would look, too, and they don't say a word.

After a few more minutes, the familiar manor fills Jungwon's sight. He sees Jay's parents in the garden, Mr. Park watering the plants while Mrs. Park was at the veranda, sitting on a white chair as she drinks tea with a book in her hand.

When they see Jay's car, they both stop what they were doing to wave at them happily, though they know they can't see inside of the tinted windows of the car. "Well, here we are," Jay mutters, looking at Jungwon. "You ready?"

"Yeah," Jungwon murmurs, and Jay leans forward a little to unbuckle Jungwon's seatbelt. "Thanks," he murmurs, wondering if that was even necessary, since no one's even around to see them. Jay nods and undoes his own seatbelt, and soon enough, they're out of the car. Mrs. Park, in her pink sundress that suited her beautifully, approaches Jungwon immediately and brings him in for a hug.

Jungwon softly laughs, hugging her back. Jay watches this exchange, smiling softly as he sees Jungwon and his mother excitedly talking to one another, Jungwon's dimples appearing in his milky skin. Jay grabs their things for the sleepover and jokingly tells his parents who crowded Jungwon. "Seems like you both care more about him than your own son."

"Jayjay!" Mrs. Park laughs, and Jay puts their bags down for a while as he hugs his parents.

✘

It's nice to be sitting at the table he grew up in, eating his mom's cooking that tastes so much like his whole childhood. Being here, he's home, and Jay can't help but feel warm inside as they ate dinner. Jungwon's sitting beside him. He looks at him, watching the way Jungwon's laughing softly at what his parents said. The way his eyes slightly squinted by his smile, the light casting on his face. His dimples... Oh how Jay loves his dimples. The way it suits Jungwon perfectly, like he was sculpted to be admired.

Jungwon catches his gaze, and Jay looks away as if it was nothing, taking another bite of his meal. For someone who has only met his parents once, Jungwon's quite fond of them. He was with them the entire day, playing board games with the whole family, having some chat out the veranda during the sunset. Now, they're eating together.

"You know it's nice having you both here," Mr. Park says. "It's good to have some youthful spirit in the house here and there. And with you around, Won, Jayjay just glows even brighter."