Red vs Blue (Season One) | A Courier Guy (Male Oc)

(Eps 4) Head Noob in Charge

Church, 404, Tucker, and Caboose stand next to the tank outside Blue Base.

Church: Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh... I've actually got a girl back home.

404: That's surprising news sir. You don't seem the romantic type.

Tucker: Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife?

Church: No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out... ah, you know how it works.

Tucker: Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back?

Caboose: I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Church: Hey, rookie.. did you just call my girlfriend a cow?

Tucker: No, I think he called her a slut!

Church: I'll tell you what, noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do.

Caboose: Great.

Church: See, we've got this General.

Tucker: Right, the General guy.

404: Does this General ever actually come inspect?

Church: ...who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by.

404: Wait, what? Sir, with all due respect, that General never-

404 began to protest but one glare from Church silenced him.

Caboose: When is he coming by?

Tucker: We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now.

Caboose: You want me to stand at attention for a week?

Church: You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag.

Caboose: What's so important about the flag?

Church: Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?

Caboose: They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?

Church: Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's... Tucker, Courier, you guys tell him why the flag is so important.

Tucker and 404 glanced at each other, at a loss. Church glared at them expectantly.

Tucker: Well... it's... it's complicated. Uh... It's blue, we're blue.

404: (Half shrug) It's like a checkpoint or something...I guess.

Church: It's just important, okay? Trust us. So when the General comes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag.

Tucker: Right.

Tucker nudged 404.

Tucker: You think he'll fall for it?

The courier sighed wearily.

Church: So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him.