Tutor

To be Vulnerable

~

Erwin considered whether or not he should say something. He had entered the kitchen to grab something for his lunch as he had skipped breakfast today, and he almost jumped out of his skin when he turned the corner into the storeroom and found Levi standing stock still with a small container of flour in his hands. There was a wooden crate at his feet that was mostly filled with goods from the pantry. Normally, Levi would have already been looking up, anticipating the arrival of whoever's footsteps he heard, but he didn't move at all, even as Erwin stood in the doorway.

You're his commander, Erwin, and probably his friend. You should ask him if something is wrong. Erwin gave himself a little pep talk before clearing his throat.

Levi flinched, quickly collected himself, and turned to Erwin with a neutral face.

"Packing for your trip?" Erwin asked and took a few steps into the pantry. It was a large room with lines of shelves stacked up the three walls, so there was still a bit of distance between the men.

"Yes," Levi looked up from the flour in his hands to the shelf where he had gotten it.

Lightly push the issue. Just a nudge, Erwin thought before he asked, "Are you finding everything you need?"

Levi's mouth barely moved as he pulled a small part of his lip between his teeth, and his eyebrows pulled together an infinitesimal amount. To anyone other than Erwin, and now Y/N, these minute facial movements may have indicated that Levi was making a small, insignificant decision. When in reality, the fact that anything had made it past his perfect exterior was cause for concern.

Levi still hadn't answered his question, so Erwin pressed on and took a single step closer.

"Is everything alright?"

Levi exhaled through his nose before he finally turned to Erwin with a frustrated look on his face.

"Yes? No? Honestly, I don't know anymore, and it's irritating me."

Erwin knew he needed to control his face, lest a stray raised eyebrow stop Levi from sharing his feelings. But he wanted to offer an inquisitive look with raised eyebrows at Levi's words.

"Are you and Y/N having issues?"

Levi scoffed with an eye roll then mumbled, "No, that's the problem."

Erwin stood quietly, waiting for him to continue. Levi put the flour back on the shelf and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.

"Have you ever-" Levi started then cut himself off with a huff. He couldn't bring himself to say the words; it was such a vulnerable question, the context of which Erwin would immediately understand. Is it really worth asking him? Can I not figure this out on my own? Levi debated. But realistically, he was on his own and in uncharted territory at that. I don't have anyone else to ask.

He sighed and let his head hang forward a bit before asking: "Have you ever been in love before?"

Erwin almost stumbled back a step as if the question itself had shoved him. Of course, he assumed Levi and Y/N were headed in that direction, yet he had never once thought Levi would speak to him about it. He also didn't expect Levi to look so upset about it.

He put his hands in his own pockets and answered, "Hmmm, yeah. Once when I was a teenager." He wondered for a moment if that was a sad answer. "I was head over heels in love actually. She's a prominent figure in the majority of my memories from that time; we were inseparable."

Levi didn't say anything, so Erwin continued. They were some of the few happy memories he carried with him, so he was fine with talking about it.

"It didn't matter how much time we spent together, I always wanted more. She was stubborn as an ox," Erwin chuckled. "Horribly competitive, but she expected the same out of you. I let her win a game once, and she caught me. I never heard the end of it," he smiled softly. "She was my best friend."