WTTT Stuff

Family Tradition

This is my first songfic. I hope you enjoy it! If you have any advice, feel free to comment it. The lyrics are in italics.

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I try to be the one that everybody loves

He put on a facade for everyone. Maybe, that would get him more love. More appreciation from others. More attention. Even if it meant throwing away the real him.

Where has that gotten me?

Nowhere.

I tear myself to shreds to prove that I'm someone
That I could never be

Everyday, he forced himself to be someone else. Hitting himself everytime he messed up. He cut his hair. The Northeast didn't have long hair. He couldn't have it either. He smashed things the real him used to own and enjoy. He avoided the things that he liked, opting for things the Northeast would like better. He let himself get mocked and pushed around, letting the others tear into him. He got too violent with others. He wasn't like that. But, he had to keep it up.

Now, these unsightly marks define me

Now, standing in front of the mirror. Blood covering his wrists, he wished he had made a different decision.

So, help me
Please, someone, come quick
I think I am losing it

He couldn't go back on his decision now, not after all he's done to get there. He wanted to be himself again, but the fear of failure in the eyes of others held him back. He had lost himself and there was no way of getting it back. Why? Because no one bothered helping him.

Forgive me, I inherited this

There was only one thing to turn to now. Its bitter taste, sweet on his tongue. The prick of the needle before he went into his skin. The euphoric high of being in the clouds, able to finally forget everything around him.

From a stranger I'll never miss

He didn't know him at all. How could he miss him?

I'm sick

There was no point in denying it

My father taught me first-hand how to be set free:
Give up and run away!

He knew he wasn't easy to handle compared to Connie or York back then. He was loud, obnoxious, disrespectful and misbehaved more than any of the others. Instead of trying to understand him and why he did such things, Netherlands kicked him over to Lenni and ran away. He never saw him again. He shouldn't even count him as a father because of it.

I wish I could drain out his half of blood in me
But, I'd still have his face
I curse reflections every day

He had tried once, draining his blood of him. It didn't work. He couldn't bear to try again, not after seeing Lenni's face that day. Everytime, he looked in his reflection and cried. Why did he have to look like him?

So, help me
Please, someone, come quick
I think I am losing it

No one would help him. He had been trying to give hints that he needed help to get away from his addictions. No one listened.

Forgive me, I inherited this
From a stranger I'll never miss

Inherit? They couldn't inherit addiction. But, he couldn't deny what he saw around him. Del seemed to be drunk every time he went to bed. Connie's twitches were too noticeable. He couldn't fall asleep unless he had some type of drug in his system. Mary smoked too often. Maybe they had inherited it.

Here is my own family tradition:
Following footsteps into addiction

They had all followed in the Netherlands' footsteps despite him and Del never actually knowing him. His addiction to drugs seemed to seep its way into their veins. Poisoning them for good. They could never escape it.

So, is there a way
That I can find peace, while still numbing my pain?

There wasn't. No way there could be. But, what if there was? To his knowledge, York hadn't fallen into drug or alcohol addiction. Maybe he had found that way. Or maybe he had just gotten lucky.

Is this my fate?
'Cause your only son still can't seem to find a way

Of course, this was his fate. It was all of their fates besides New York. But, even he had trouble keeping himself away from drugs or alcohol for a long period of time.

So, help me
Please, someone, come quick
I think I am losing it

Of course, his cries went unanswered. No one cared enough about him to help. He was losing it or maybe he already had, sobbing and shaking on the ground of a sidewalk in Louisville. He didn't even realize Kentucky had arrived earlier and was holding him.

Forgive me, I inherited this
From a stranger I'll never miss

He kept choking out apologies when he finally realized it was Kentucky who was holding him. He was such a burden on everyone around him. He shouldn't have existed. He should've died with West.

"You don't need to apologize. It's not your fault." He stopped when he heard those words. It wasn't his fault? What did he mean?

So father, where the hell are you now?

Back in Amsterdam, he presumed after he had been kicked out of North America by the British.

I think that you would be proud

He would be proud, having his sons just like him.

Your son, who so unluckily
Fell right next to the tree

He did. Well, they all did. They had all fallen into the same void their father had, who shouldn't even have been called a father for only focusing on New York. He never cared about the rest of them. Just like how they tried to keep up their facades of never caring about anyone.

I hope you're proud of me!

He hoped he was worthy of pride in the Netherlands' eyes. He knew he would never be like New York, no matter how hard he tried. He also hoped they were proud. He hoped the other states were proud of what they had done to him without even knowing. Maybe they'll never know.

I hope you're proud!

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So, I've been in love with this band for like a week because I found it last week. Now, I could've done it with any other character. But! The band was actually formed in NJ and I thought it would be perfect for this songfic! Anyway, I really hoped you enjoyed!

Words: 1016

-Rose