Ten days

Epilogue

And life went on.

It wasn't the same.

But it went on.

A week never felt that long until I spent it without you. A month never felt like that long until I spent it without you.

And now, a year.

My prayers carry you when my arms can't.

Sometimes late at night, our memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheek.
I don't want to let go. Yes I know I have to, it's been a year, 365 days without your touch. I'm still keeping track, it hasn't gotten easier and I doubt it ever will. Missing you is the hardest thing I deal with everyday.

I still remember the last time you held my hand.

I kinda like the way I remember everything so vividly, it's like replaying my favorite movie any time I want to.

When you passed, I felt like time stood still and all of us stopped moving, staying with you. But as time passed, I feel like everyone started moving again. They're all walking forward, able to move on...and they think I'm right with them but I'm not. And I want to be able to move on, but I'm still standing still holding onto you.

It was really rough at first, it still is for me at least. It took your brother a long time to start taking care of himself again. His whole mood fell and he was a lot more quiet. But as I promised you, I lifted him back on his feet and he is back to normal. But, I know a part of him doesn't go a day without thinking about you. You won't believe it either, he got a girlfriend. She is so sweet and takes care of him when I'm not there which I appreciate.

Huening Kai didn't handle you leaving well. He would take his bunny plushie everywhere with him and I ended up giving him the other matching bunny, that bunny being yours. He was super pleased and wouldn't stop thanking me. He definitely got attached to you from the day you two met.

Yeonjun wouldn't go clothing shopping a lot like he usually did. He didn't like that it reminded him of you and when he did go, he preferred to go by himself instead of dragging one of us with him. But after sometime, he got back to normal after a talk he had with everyone. Each of them had a moment where they missed you even when they only met you once. Even Taehyun would sit on Soobin's or someone else's lap in the car even though there was an extra seat. Yeah, the Kang Taehyun. He stopped due to him hitting his head when Yeonjun took a sharp turn but that habit stuck with him for a bit.

They had to deal you leaving in their own ways. You left an impact on each of them, big or small.

Me?

I was an absolute mess, still kinda am. I didn't leave the house for a whole week until Taehyun came over and had a talk with me. A harsh yet comforting one. He helped me clean the apartment and took care of me. He knew you would he disappointed in what I have become.

So I finally fixed myself.

I walked out the University, rain pouring down from the dark clouds. Many umbrellas were held up in the air. But I didn't need one nor want one.

"Why are you crying, Y/n?"

Thanks to you, I started going to University and am currently doing clay modeling and pottery with Hyunjin. You would have loved it.
Although, I refused to stay in a dorm and preferred to live off campus.

I still can't help but miss our conversations, your touch, your voice. I now can only rely on videos, pictures, and my memory.

Don't worry Y/n, I won't forget you. It's impossible. The memories constantly come back, your perfume lingers in my sheets and the clothes you borrowed from me. Parks have our laughter painted all over them, and the blue sky reminds me of your pure smile.

I took in the smell of the rain and the earth. The concrete was a dark gray color.

It's funny how we always communicate through the sky.

I find it absolutely crazy that I made a best friend, fell in love, and lost her in ten days.
Anything is possible.

Loving you felt like leaving a book unfinished
We never got to see what happened...

I can't wait to go to the magic island. Just hold on and wait for me my love.

Here is your reminder that life is temporary. We were born to die. Text that person, take a long drive, try something new, spend your money, laugh until you cry, cry until you laugh. In the end, you don't have all the time in the world.