Where Are We Now? (Marina)

Forty-Seven.

Maya

Eight... Nine... Ten... Eleven... Twelve... Thir— "Bishop." I finished my bench press to see Sullivan standing in the doorway of the gym in his workout clothes. Great. I had completely forgot he was covering here for a week.

I had hoped our uncommunicated mutual understanding of not uttering a word to each other unless life or death was a given. Guess I was wrong. "Lieutenant." I sat up on the bench and passed my towel along my neck to wipe the sweat off my skin. There goes my peaceful shift at 42. I can't get a break this week.

Sullivan tapped his fist against his opposite open palm as if he was waiting to say something. He didn't so I went back to start another set. He walked by to set up the other workout bench to start doing bicep curls.

While he did his curls I finished my last set on the bench press before going to grab the 25's to do overhead tricep extensions. I don't know when in the mix of my workout I found myself challenging his sets. Pushing my body to do more reps and rest less between sets.

It's like I could feel my blood boiling at the fact that this man believed he was better than me, that he deserved my job more than I did. I could hear Lane's voice starting to penetrate my mind as we both did bent over rows. Don't back down. You're no quitter and he's no match.

Sullivan was grimacing through his and I was keeping my face focused. Every muscle in my back and arms was burning, but I would never show that. He would never see me in pain. He was nothing and I refused to show—

The dumbbells fell on the ground as Sullivan dropped them, "I'm not doing this with you."

I did five more then gently put mine down on the ground, "That would imply that there was competition. Last I checked I am your superior."

"Look Maya—"

"That's Battalion Chief Bishop to you!" I assert and he bows his head as he steps back to leave more space between us. I almost took it as his sign of resignation, but instead he took a deep breath and then looked up to me.

"Chief, I don't want to continue this unspoken war. This animosity that I know I am responsible for. I made big mistakes, and I would like to extend my amends to you and Dr. DeLuca for my behavior, if you'd let me." He extended his hand like an olive branch.

One that I was sure had spikes laced with poison and deceit. Fooled me once, twice, I was not about to get fooled a third because I had a soft spot for his predicament. Carina would never sabotage a supposed mentee for her own benefit. Not while sober, not while her mentee had given her a chance to redeem herself. "I get you need to make amends Sullivan, I understand how that helps you, but I also understand the program enough to know that I can acknowledge that I'm not in a place to accept your amends."

"Chief, please. I understand if you're not ready, but—"

"Lieutenant, it's not that I'm not ready, it's that I don't believe the amends are being given from a place of honesty. You've waited almost three years to even say a word to me after trying to destroy the career I worked for. A career I deserved according to your words just months prior. I trusted you as my mentor and then you go and not only try to get me demoted, but also destroy my wedding. So no. I will not accept your dishonest amends. You've not changed. A captain position is on the horizon and I can spot a shark smelling blood anywhere. I don't trust you and you do not have my recommendation if or when the time comes," I finished saying, finally feeling free of the venom I had held in for this man. He stood there with his head fallen in defeat as I re-racked my weights and left the small gym.

My shift was long past over and I had avoided my wife's worried eyes for long enough. I had come to spend the week at 42 to avoid the prodding and the check ins. As nice as it was, I didn't feel like answering questions I did not know the answers to. Maybe it was just that Lane was in my head more this week.