If I May Be So Bold (A Harry Potter Universe Fanfiction)

26.

December 2034

ELLA

Ella was panicking. She had grown comfortable with singing in rehearsals. It wasn't so bad really.

But that was so, so different from today. And it wasn't just because the choir had maybe thirty five people altogether and today she would sing in front of the entire school. It was because when she sang in choir rehearsal, everyone else was singing too. Yes, she had the solo, but there were parts underneath her providing the landscape her part moved on top of. In rehearsal, everyone was busy worrying about themselves.

Today, most of that room would not be otherwise occupied. It would be all eyes on her. And tomorrow, she'd have to do it all again to an even larger crowd. The Hogsmeade show was always widely attended. And her mum would be there.

For some reason, Ella was especially nervous about that.

The entire choir, dressed in the pale blue robes they wore for shows, was crammed into a little side chamber off the Great Hall where they would be performing in a matter of minutes. She could already hear the rest of the school collecting at their house tables.

Meanwhile, Iris and Kyrie had started chanting "El-LA, El-LA, El-LA" over and over, trying to pump her up. Iris grabbed her wrists, tugging one and then the other to make Ella twist back and forth. Kyrie jumped up and down next to her, head bobbing with each syllable.

"Guys," Ella said, shutting her eyes. "I appreciate what you're trying to do here, but it's really not helping."

"Well, what would help?" asked Iris, stopping on a dime.

"I don't know," said Ella weakly. "Nothing, probably."

The Great Hall was getting louder by the second. "I regret everything," she whispered. "This was such a mistake."

Kyrie looked about ready to knock some sense into her, but before she could, Professor Whitby called their attention.

"Try your best to get into your usual formation if you would," he said. "We'll do a quick warmup, maybe run through the first bit of God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs..."

So they all shuffled around trying to find the people they usually sat between. It was a bit of a tight fit, but they made it work, standing shoulder to shoulder.

Logan took one look at Ella's face — which she could only imagine was very, very pale, because it felt like the blood had drained right out of her body — and he reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. He had done this before. What was new was that he didn't let go.

If Ella had been in any other state than the one she was in, she probably wouldn't have been able to think about anything else, but as it was, Logan's hand in hers was comforting. It actually calmed her down, just a little. She held on tight, trying to breathe evenly as they warmed up.

When it was time to head out into the Great Hall to begin, Logan gave her hand one last squeeze and let it drop. She appreciated that he didn't say anything whatsoever. She couldn't take another person saying she'd be fine. It didn't matter how many people said it. It wasn't sinking in and the words just didn't help anything.

Ella felt like she could hear her heartbeat. She felt all buzzy, everywhere.

There were so many people in the room. The house tables seemed even more packed than they usually did. Was that possible? Where had all of these kids come from?

She tried hard not to look around. She didn't want to find her dad or Juni or worse, Henry Parker. It was still so awkward every time she ran into him.