The Return To Love

Chapter Nine

**Authors note**

I want everyone to understand that both Can and Sanem had more than one brief relationship with other people during the time they were apart.

They both had to reveal these relationships to each other in order to regain and reconnect with each other.. I believe this shows just how strong their bond was and how determined they were to rekindle that love.

Of all the other relationships that they encountered over those several years, none of them had broken that deep connection and love that they had for each other..... their hearts still belonged to one another....I hope you will read this story with a new feeling for Can and Sanem.....

This is a true story of  undeniable love.

      Javier paced the floor of his office, still holding his phone in his hand. " What is going on with her. This woman isn't the Sanem I know.  What can be keeping her in Istanbul...has she found an old love there.... Javier, I think it's time for you to take a trip to Turkey.... Go to Istanbul and bring Sanem home.".... He told himself.

      It would take him a while to clear his calendar, but he knew he had to go there. Sanem meant more to him than just a client, she was the person he wanted to have in his life forever... 

      He hadn't quite convinced Sanem of this yet. She wanted nothing more than friendship...but the one night they had spent together was still etched in his mind. That night five years ago had changed him...made him know what he wanted... and if he wanted her, it looked like he was going to have to fight for her....

      Javier opened the door to his office, calling out to his assistant, " Marcela, I need your help, come in please."  Javier said, waving her his way.

      She hurried to his office, ready to help him, " Yes, what can I do for you. Did you get ahold of Ms. Aydin, and when is she coming. We have a couple of new book signing requests that need her approval.." She answered. 

      " Yes I did talk to Sanem, but she is still in Istanbul. Something is up with her. I'm afraid her family is placing some undue guilt on her to stay there longer. So....I have decided to fly to Istanbul and try and rescue her." He said with a smirky smile..

      " Let's clear up my calendar for the next few days and I'll see about a flight to Turkey." He explained. " And the booking signings...  Where are they?" He questioned, thinking that the only thing that might influence her to leave is meeting her fans and getting her mind back on work...

       Marcela tapped on her phone, scrolling down to her correspondence, " The company in Paris,  you know, that very nice bookstore, Smith and Son.......and...Leakeys Bookstore in Inverness, Scotland.  Leakeys have been very persistent in wanting Ms. Aydin to come to their store." Marcela explained, as she pulled out a very formally written and ornately designed invitation from the bookstore and handed it to Javier.

      Javier raised his eyebrows. He took the invitation to read it over. " This might be the very thing to get Sanem to leave Istanbul. A romantic trip to Scotland to visit the most prestigious bookstore in Inverness."  He thought as he looked over the invitation...

~ At the cabin ~

      Can stepped closer to Sanem, his eyes glistening with sorrow, " Did you Sanem...did you forget...did he make you forget about me?" Can whispered, his voice coarse and gritty. 

      Sanem lowered her head, wishing for a place to console herself, " Can,...Can, it wasn't like that. I didn't ....it didn't feel romantic, it....I was upset, I had just left my home and for all I knew...I had left you forever...." She stammered nervously, feeling the effects of his closeness.

      Can closed his eyes as he gently rested his forehead on hers, letting out a sigh of relief, "Hmm, I know exactly what you mean....it was meaningless.... it never meant anything. There was always something missing,....We were missing." He muttered in a whisper of confession..

      Sanem could feel herself crumble, disintegrating into ashe, as he spoke. " Yes, that was it...it was empty, meaningless, and disappointing ...." She replied, her words barely audible.....but never had she spoke more truer words in her life...

      Can took a deep breath, breathing in her delicious scent, " I'm sorry that your first time was with "him...Javier."  I always wanted us being together to be your first.. our beginning...

      Sanem held her breath, hesitant to tell him the rest....She knew she had to tell him everything, from the beginning....She had to make him understand how scared, angry and insecure she felt when she found herself in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno....alone.

      Can felt Sanem's body tense as he spoke to her. " Hey, it's ok. I felt  it too. It was only actions, not love...not love like I feel for you..." He said, trying to pull her closer..

      "Can, there's more... I mean,.. look you have to understand how terrible I felt. When I got to Galápagos Islands I thought that was going to heal me,...make me forget everything...I wanted to forget at all. But I couldn't.." She began, ready to tell it all..

       It seemed as if the weather had sensed the change in the conversation, with the sun disappearing and the wind picking up...and a cool, almost cold chill settling in. 

      " Hey let's go in. It looks like the rain is moving in." Can said, covering her protectively with his large body and ushering her inside the cabin. " Can, my phone..." she said, remembering it was still lying on the table..

      Can sprinted out to the table to retrieve it, just before the sky opened up.. bringing on the rain.. " Got it... and just in time too." He said, with that devastatingly handsome Divit look....

      " Thanks. Sorry you got a little wet." Sanem muttered, as she remembered all the times he had saved her....in one way or another. 

      He reached for the small blanket that was draped over the sofa and wrapped it around her tightly from behind..... slow to relinquish his hold on her. " I know I hurt you...and myself. But I don't think it's anything that can't be fixed...I still feel the exact same way about you as I did back then. You take my breath away.. you are the one that makes me whole....I..I don't feel right without you." He admitted, his cheek nestled up against hers...

      Her very annoying inner voice chimed in,... " You have him back, that's what you wanted....don't tell him about everything.... Does he really have the right to know about the other times you tried to forget him."  The voice, echoed loudly in her head....

      Sanem's throat tightened as she carefully planned out the words in her head. How could she tell the man she loved more than life itself, that Javier hadn't been the first. He hadn't been the only one that she had sought comfort in all those years ago....But she knew she had to tell him...no matter what her inner voice said.

      She stepped out of the hold he had on her... but she couldn't look at him.. " Can... Can,.. Javier wasn't the first....he wasn't the first man that I had been with. I want to tell you everything, but I don't want you to...." She covered her face with both hands, " I don't want you to not want me anymore..." She sobbed, fearing the worst...

      Can didn't speak for a minute...letting what she said sink in. He wanted to be furious, he wanted to be angry and hurt.....but he couldn't. " Sanem, that would never happen..I could never not want you.." He said, breaking the silence...

      She turned to him, her face streaked with tears, " Are you sure. I want to tell you, but are you sure you want to hear it.."  

       Can nodded, " If you feel you want to tell me, then yes, I want to hear it... but it won't make any difference... I won't feel any different, my heart will still be yours." Can cupped her face in his hands.

       Sanem was relieved, but the worst was yet to come... She had to tell him about the other times.... If she didn't tell him..... she didn't think she would be worthy of his love....

       So she would confess......