The Return To Love

Chapter Seven

      As the doors of the elevator opened, he smiled, biting his bottom lip precariously, as he waited for her to exit. 

      " Good morning, you look great.. Are you ready to get our day started?" He asked, extending his hand for her to take. He waited for her to take his hand, and when she did,...he was able to take a breath..

      " Yes, I'm ready. But where are we going? I hope I'm dressed ok.." She muttered, her voice shaking with anticipation as she looked up into his face.. A warm, almost giddy feeling surged through her. "Well here you are again...I hope you're happy."  Her inner voice whispered inside her head.

      It was all she could do to keep from answering that inner voice out loud, and the old Sanem probably would have. But this Sanem was trying to be less transparent, so she merely waved her hand in front of her face as if she was shooing away a fly,.... Then gave him a smile.

      Can ushered her across the lobby and out the front door where the car was parked. He opened the passenger side door, " Here you go. I guess you can see,...I rented a car. It's better than a taxi." He joked, as she slid into the seat.

      " This is great. Really..." She could feel her stomach flutter as he got in under the wheel. He was so close that she could feel the heat from his body. She looked straight ahead, trying not to lose control..... But her heart was beating so hard she just knew he could hear it..

       " Are you ready. I have the prefect place in mind for breakfast." He muttered, as he started the car.  She finally looked his way, " Yes I'm ready, but you haven't said where we are going." She said...

      Her presence, her smell, the way she looked,....all of it had made him lightheaded. " It's  a surprise. I know you like surprises, so just be patient...we will be there soon." He spoke, as a wave of excitement washed over him..

      She settled back in the seat. She had always been willing to trust him....she knew whatever he had planned would be wonderful. " Ok, but make it quick...because I'm staving." She told him with a smile...

      When they reached the outskirts of town Sanem knew exactly where they were going...To the cabin.. A strange, but familiar feeling sank in. " He has made one of his wonderful breakfasts for us....at the cabin." She thought, as she tried to keep that smile from her face...

      They turned up the long winding driveway to what she had always considered, "their special place"..... " So we are having breakfast at the cabin?" She asked, turning to look at him....

      He looked her way too, " Yes, if that's ok with you...if not I will think of something else." He offered, slowing down the car. 

      She smiled, " No, it's fine... in fact it's the best place for us today... This day is about us,...and explanations...and maybe reconnecting, so what better place than where it all started.." She suggested.

       As the cabin came into sight, she felt the first pangs of hesitation. So many things had happened here, so much happiness...so much sadness. But now would be the time to turn it all around... make the bad times disappear, let only the happy times remain...

      It was a moment of deja vu, as he walked around the car to open her door. The first time he brought her here....in that gorgeous orange gown... That was the only time he had brought anyone here,...but she was special. 

      Sanem stepped out of the car, almost weak from the memories that she was reliving... He walked a few steps ahead of her, just as he had before...like he was clearing the way of any danger, as he led her to up the path and the steps, to the front of the cabin....

      The table was set with the same familiar dishes, the same lace tablecloth...and in the middle of the table was a vase of fresh white daisies.... A small fire was burning in the fire pit, not that it was needed, but just because that was the way it was before..... Everything was as it was before...

       Can stood there in silence for a few seconds, letting her take it all in. " Well,..what do you think. I have all your favorite foods... the flowers... we can even have the same music,..if you want." He said, his voice tender and childlike...

      She loved all of it, every single thing, just like before. But were they just like before, she wondered, as she looked around in amazement. " Can, you have recreated the first time you brought me here. I love it.... But I hope I don't have to change into your clothes." She said with a laugh.

      Can motioned for her to sit down, " Let's eat, I know your hungry. Then we will have the rest of the day,....or week...or month, even years to talk." His voice was low and full of expectation...

      The conversation was slow at first,....with Sanem asking just some general questions about his life over the last several years... " So, your photography has boomed again. You are working regularly?" She said, wanting to roll her own eyes at the lame question...

      Can smiled, taking a sip of tea, " Yes, I'm doing pretty good. I'm more freelancing now, no bosses." He muttered, leaning over closer to her. She nodded, " Got it. You never were the type for punching a time clock.. So no permanent home anywhere." She asked, hoping he wouldn't think the question to personal for getting to know each other again...

      " No, not a permanent home. Istanbul is the only home I've ever had. The last few years has been a lot of traveling, so I live in hotels mostly. I did lease a small apartment in Germany, but that was only for a few months." He answered. The whole conversation was sounding more like an interview than a talk between old lovers...

      There was a very strange silence for a few minutes. Sanem laid down her knife and fork, she knew she would have to just come out with it, ask all the things that had haunted her over the last seven years. 

      " Why did you just leave. Just take off in the middle of the night, without a word to anyone?" She spoke, her words sounded hard and direct. " I wanted to explain to you what happened, and why....but you only listened to Polen. You let her influence you, you let her...." She stopped abruptly, not wanting to even speak the name of that woman.

      Sanem closed her eyes, her inner voice telling to breathe in, and breathe out.... " I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start out like this. But that is why we are here...right?" She said, finding the courage to look him in the eyes...

      Can returned the look, " Yes, it is. And I want to explain. First of all, Polen didn't influence me. She offered me a job...which I did not take. I was so full of self doubt, hurt, and I felt like you had betrayed me." His voice stayed calm and reserved.

      Can stood and walked over to the fire pit, throwing a couple of small logs into the fire....Sanem waited for him to continue.... " When I left here, I wasn't sure what I was doing or where I was going..I just left. I thought you were choosing Fabri over me.. you gave him your cream...your scent. That was my scent.....I found you because of that smell, I wanted you because of that smell.. " Can paced back and forth.....trying had not to lose it...

      Sanem stood and walked toward him...." But I didn't, I hadnt,....I wouldn't have done that.. Can I gave away my perfume to save you from Fabri.. The recipe for that cream was a gift from my grandmother, a treasured gift. I gladly and proudly gave it to him in return for your freedom.." The tears filled her eyes, but she refused to let them show..

      So many things had happened to them that it seemed the one thing that she was sure would help, had been their breaking point...

      Can stepped closer to her, needing to feel her. " I know, it took me years to see that, but I finally have. I saved all your texts, your pleads for me to answer you back, the voicemails, all the times you reached out to me.....I saved them all, but I couldn't answer you. 

      She reached up and touched his face, purely on instinct, " But why, why didn't you. I wanted to know you were okay and not off somewhere, hurt or even dead."

      The feel of his skin, his beard against her hand released so much desire..... " She knew she had forgiven him a long time ago for walking away....but now she realized just how much she loved him.".....