Insecurities

Chapter 4

2 days later when they leave court it seems like Darius is going to slip away. Again.

"Wanna get a drink?" Elliot asks, knowing he's resting boundaries, knowing that the lustful thoughts in his head had made him do something he never thought he would in a public bathroom just a 2 days ago.

She thinks about the other night. The way he kissed her, his lips strong against hers, confident and full of urgency.

She thinks of the way he left her and went and crawled in bed with his wife.

"Rain check?" She says, making her way down the courthouse steps.

"Come on. One drink." He urges.

She wants to say no. She doesn't want to give in but his captivating blue eyes are piercing right through her and she's not sure how anyone could ever summon the strength to say no to the man.

"One drink." She says and he nods and hails a cab.

They make their way across town. He takes her to a bar they've never been to before, different from their normal spot.

"Why here?" She asks, tilting her glass of beer to her lips. They serve drinks on the tap. A good selection she'll admit.

"Something different." He says closing both of his hands around the bottom of his bottle.

He didn't care for beer on tap, he preferred the bottle.

"Listen," he starts spinning his barstool to face her and his knee meets hers, he glances at it for a second before pulling his leg from hers and continuing "about the other night," she sighs and takes another drink of her beer.

So this is what we're doing. We're going to talk about this.

"I'm ready to talk about it." He says and she turns her eyes to his. "If you want to." He adds.

It hits her that he's not referring to their kiss he's referring to Kathy.

"I didn't go over there with the intention of... being with her." He says and she swallows hard willing herself to give him her full attention. Trying to remain open minded and not jump to conclusions.

"I was drunk. I went there to tell her the truth. To come clean about what had happened...between us." He says and she corners her eyes at him.

She's still upset about it. Still angry.

"I tried to tell her--I" he trails off, voice fading into a whisper.

"She kissed me.. Told me she wanted to work on us. Told me that the kids missed me. Everything was so quiet, I was still drunk and I was aroused from kissing you and.." he pauses again and takes another sip of his beer willing himself to go on, feeling guilty on both ends of the spectrum for what he had done to Liv, and to Kathy. He almost felt worse for Liv which made him feel worse for caring more about her than his wife.

"You gotta believe me I didn't want to. I just froze. She was...familiar..easy.. and just for a second I worried about losing my kids if I told her." He says. "And she just kept kissing me and kissing me and at some point I just kissed her back." He shakes his head. Annoyed with himself, feeling guilty and stupid when he hears it out loud.

Olivia remains silent, eyes focused forward as she takes an occasional sip of her beer.

"You didn't want to..?" She asks. Voice almost a whisper, frail and weak from emotion.

"I didn't." He answers quickly.

"God I didn't." He sighs and shakes his head. Disappointed in himself. "She tried, the night of the Malcolm Royce case." Olivia's eyes promptly dart to his. "I had known before I ever went over there that it was over." He says and she tilts her head, confused.