Insecurities

Chapter 1

"We still grabbing a drink tonight?"  Elliot asks dropping a Cynthia Yellins case file on his desk and turning towards Olivia.

"You still dropping by to see the kids first?" She asks as she leans back in her chair. Elliot smiles and takes a seat in his.

"Yeah. Kathy said I could come by tonight to see them." He says fidgeting with his ink pen between 2 fingers.

"Hey we got a hit on Stephen Dachiells prepaid cell phone it's reloaded with air time every Monday morning from the same address." Munch interrupts handing Elliot a piece of paper with an address on it.

"I guess that's us." Elliot says sliding his jacket off the back of his chair.

When they arrive the man at the counter advises that the man in the photo Stephen Daschiells comes in regularly and gives them a home address.

When they finally find the man they come to the realization that he has a wife and kids and that his name is actually Malcolm Royce. 

Malcolm Royce a name and face Elliot would grow to hate.

"I gotta get out of here." Elliot turns and quickly faces away from the man crying on the bed who had just heard the news he's lost his wife and kids at the hands of his wife. 

"Yeah, probably get back and brief Cragen." Olivia says

"Can you handle it?" Elliot asks, barely making eye contact with her.

"Sure." She doesn't hesitate.

He pulls up to Kathy's house and sits in the driveway for a few minutes. They had gotten wrapped up in the case so he hadn't had the chance to visit the kids like he wanted to but she said he could still come see them. And it was good because he needed to.

He needed to see their faces, hear their breathing, feel their skin against his palms. Things Malcolm would never do again. 

He slowly walks to Kathy's bedroom and sighs and stands at the door. "Thanks for letting me come by." He says. "Did it help?" Kathy asks and he shoots a half hearted smile.

"Yeah." He nods his head and they look at each other for a few moments.

"Stay." Kathy muttered softly.

He swallowed hard and remained motionless for a moment. Only a moment.

He felt sad and lonely and vulnerable and he wanted intimacy. He wanted to feel someone touch his skin, he wanted to feel the warmth of someone pressed up against him.

He just wanted someone.

He swallows again to wet his throat to supply her with an answer.

"I should get back to the station. Paperwork.." he said softly and she nodded her head comprehensively.

It's what the majority of their marriage had been, him running off for some new case or getting stuck late at the office dotting all the I's and crossing all the T's.

It never failed to disappoint her when he did it but it didn't surprise her either. Elliot would always choose the job over her.

What she didn't know was that for once it wasn't the job.

-----
Forensic had proved Malcolm was the sole perpetrator of the heinous crime scene he couldn't get out of his head. So when Malcolm's finished feeding him a handful of lies Cragen comes to pull him out.

I'm not coming out. And you're not coming in.

He shoves a chair under both doors to prevent entry from either side. Elliot confronts Malcolm telling him to tell the truth and when Malcolm says he did Elliot hits his wits end. He informs him that he knows Malcolm is lying and that he's going to get the truth out of him one way or another.