Tanner and Esme

Chapter 29 (Esme): The Right Brother

"No, I do." Oh, did I. "This Tanner...this is the man I needed him to be. He's open, holding nothing back, and he's made it clear he's all in with me. That I'm the woman he wants but also that I determine what happens. I'm setting the pace."

"Then maybe just let yourself enjoy it, little E. You bitches overthink things that us assholes don't think twice about."

I'd learned when I first met him that women were bitches and men were assholes with Big. But there was something in his tone that was decidedly grumpy and that wasn't like him.

"Everything OK with you?" I asked. Thinking about it, he'd been off for the last month or so.

"Might tell you about it sometime," he said, his tone getting downright pissy. "But just know it's not my fault."

Oh, no. When a man said that, it was almost always his fault.

"Well, you've been my shoulder and my friend since I moved in, so I'd love to be there for you," I said.

"Don't worry about me. Just let yourself go and have fun tonight, little E. Don't let your mind get in the way of what your heart wants. Enjoy the time with him without listening to your head throwing up roadblocks that don't even fucking exist."

Um, that emphatic growling definitely had nothing to do with me. I was going to have to get this man a mocha Frappuccino and force him to spill his guts the next time Tanner had the children at his place.

"OK, Big," I said. "Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it."

As was his habit, he hung up without an official goodbye. A knock sounded on my door and I looked at my phone. Tanner was twenty minutes early, which made me smile. Eager, just like I was.

But when I opened my door, it wasn't Tanner.

"Oh." My tone was flat, unwelcoming. Possibly hostile.

"Esme, can I talk to you?"

I debated. In the four years I'd been with Tanner, not once had Trent spoken to me other than the obligatory hey, how are you?  He'd rarely even looked at me, so to say I was curious was an understatement.

"Sure, come on in," I said at last.

He walked in, and I shut the door and turned to face him. 

"What do you want?" I asked, definitely not friendly but not kicking him in the balls, either.

He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here in front of me. I also would have preferred he be anywhere but here.

"I need to apologize," he finally said after a lengthy pause.

"Tanner's going to be here in about twenty minutes, in case you don't want to be here when he shows up." An apology from Trent could take hours.

With a nod, Trent acknowledged my words. "I've started therapy, been talking with my parents and thinking about what Tanner's said to me about you."

And?

"I never liked you for my brother, and I thought you kept him from living the life he wanted. I thought Mindy was the better choice for him."

So far, nothing new, and as apologies went, it sucked. I hoped he'd finish and leave before my date got here because I didn't think Tanner would be pleased to see his brother.

"Never gave you a chance. Never even warmed up to Jude or Liora."

"No, you didn't." Asshole.

"I'm sorry for that," he said in a serious voice, and he sat down heavily on the edge of my couch. "I'm sorry for thinking you were no good for Tan, and I'm sorry for not getting to know my niece and nephew. I've been realizing how much I've missed out on."

He looked up at me. "Went over to Mom and Dad's tonight. Saw your kids. They didn't really know who I was exactly, especially Liora."

"That's on you, Trent." 

"It is," he admitted. "I wanted kids so I was jealous that Tanner had what I wanted and never will have. He just fell into it, like he always fell into everything. He came into the company because he had to support you, and he started getting noticed. Fell into that, too, and I'd been working my ass off and didn't get anywhere near the recognition my little brother did."

"Jealousy made you a nasty asshole. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yeah. I am. Lost my girl, lost the company -- I could see what was happening. I also saw my brother leading a life he didn't want. Well, leading a life I didn't think he really wanted. So I worked it to eventually get Mindy and him to cross paths. He didn't have to cheat," he said defensively.

"No, he didn't," I agreed. "But he did. You also didn't have to undermine our marriage the way you did." 

"No, I didn't," he admitted. "And it's cost me a lot."

"I don't feel sorry for you, Trent, if that's why you're here."

He gave me a ghost of a smile. "I don't expect you to. I just want you to know I'm sorry for the part that I played in not supporting your marriage."

"OK."

"And I want you to know I won't be interfering with you two ever again. You get back together, I'll be good with it because I know you're the one Tanner really wants."

I didn't say anything.

"The last thing I want to tell you is I'm quitting my job on Monday. I haven't told my family yet."

Now that? That shocked me. The company was everything to Trent.

"What are you going to do instead?" 

He smiled sheepishly. "Nothing for a while. I've been saving money for a long time and I'm going to sell my house so I can travel for a couple of years. Get my head straight. Maybe take some pictures. Always liked photography."

That sat between us for a few minutes as I searched for a reply. Not much was coming to mind that didn't involve pure nastiness.

"I hope you find whatever you're missing inside," I finally decided on.

At that, he gave a short laugh. "You're a helluva lot nicer than I would have been. I was expecting a fuck off and die from you."

"It was tempting," I admitted, then I couldn't resist adding, "but had you bothered to get to know me, you'd know that I'm not like that."

"Yeah, I guess you're not," he said. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know."

I nodded. "Good bye, Trent."

After Trent walked out, I shook off the strange encounter and freshened up my bold, red lipstick.

A few minutes later, I opened the door to the right brother.