ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ - House of the Dragon

CHAPTER TWENTY

Saying the way back to the Red Keep was awkward would be a lie.

After Aemond gave me my present, he helped me clean myself up and almost insulted and threatened me when I tried to return the favor.

"I did not do it so you could suck my cock, Visenya." He had said, rolling his eye and helping me to my feet. "Although I wouldn't say no to see you on your knees in front of me. Just not today, today is your day."

In my own defense, fucking (in any possible way) was mostly a thing of two, so it felt odd that I was the only one feeling that pleasure.

It never was with Jace. We had a unspoken rule, if one received pleasure, the other did too.

Jace.

I could not say I hand't compared them both more than I would've like. But I just couldn't help it, Jace had been the first and only person I had had any sexual experiences with, and suddenly feeling the change of his soft hands for Aemond's rough ones (though my uncle touched me as delicately as he could whenever he wanted to) and Jace's praising and words of care for Aemond's rudeness was hard to miss.

It didn't feel right, to enjoy fucking with someone else that wasn't the person I had claimed to myself to be in love with. Because I was in love with Jacaerys, right? He was the only person (besides perhaps Daemon if my brother was not close enough) that could calm me down during an episode. The only one that never feared me or tried to change my way of doing things, even when he so much disagreed every time I begged my mother to kill someone I was sure deserved it.

Yet, the heavy weight of betrayal I had felt when I found out about his betrothal with Baela simply disappeared after Aemond kissed my neck. And then he had almost kissed me on the lips, and I felt as if I didn't want him to stop, not as I did every time Jace had tried to kiss me. Sure, our last night together we had kissed a lot, yet, and despite feeling as if I was Aegon the Conquer myself, it was nothing compared of how I felt when Aemond had bitten and kissed and licked my thighs, and how his amethyst eye had burnt holes in every inch of skin he had stared at.

What did it mean? That I was not in love with Jace? That I had misundertood my own feelings? No one ever explained me what it felt being in love , only how to produce heirs and, much to my own displeasure, how to keep a husband happy. 

"Fucking is a pleasure," Daemon had said. "For the woman as it is the man."

And sure enough I had enjoyed fucking Jace. Yet, why did I not felt bad, not even a bit, that I had enjoyed with Aemond as well? Jacaerys and I not longer were a thing, and watching as my uncle smiled at me (not smirked, but smiled) made me think that perhaps we should have never been.

Aemond helped me dress, pulling up my black trousers and kissing here and there and chuckling every time I playfully hit him, and then attemped to braid my hair as I had taught him when we were children. He failed twice. He groaned and spat an insult in High Valyrian, and my heart skipped a beat as the memories of his tongue claiming me as his flashed through my mind as a haunting ghost.

He rolled his eye to the back of his head when I easily braided my hair, stucking my tongue out for him and starting to walk towards the two beasts peacefully sleeping with his hand on my lower back and his cocky smirk restored on his lips.

Both Vhagar and Stormbreaker seemed completely oblivious of what had just happened between their riders in that lonely and small hill far from King's Landing. The she-dragon loudly yawned when Stormy playfully roared to wake her up, and then he looked at me, smelling the air around me and cocking his head to a side. I could see his raised eyebrows, if only he had eyebrows.

I could only roll my eyes, that dragon was something else.

He did not groan when Aemond helped me clim to his back, asking me one last time to ride Vhagar with him and promising me to catch me in case Stormy let me fall and walking to his own dragon when I refused.