Letting Go & Moving On

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You know in life you have to come to a point where you just move on

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You know in life you have to come to a point where you just move on. That's what I am trying to do or at least what I think I am doing, being trapped between being okay and having a mental breakdown. None of this is easy and you have to ask if it ever will be but today and for the past few days I haven't felt any love for myself, I am just living in a cycle of waking up, eating, and going to work don't even ask me what happens after work I can't tell you because not even me myself knows. But all I know is I somehow have to be okay, doesn't everyone just expect me to act like this isn't my reality? The reality where someone took advantage of me and the only thing I could do was lay there. I couldn't even help myself, when I see myself I see hatred not pity I didn't pity myself when I pushed this on myself. How could I allow this to happen to me, my skin crawls every single day I can't even look at my body for too long, or else I vomit at the look of pure disgust.

"Al yuh hear weh mi a say" a voice comes out reminding me that my cousin was on the phone

"Ahh yess baby weh yuh did a say now"

"Al them breed mi" was her voice echoing

"Then yuh man did deh pan a mission inno tav"

"Lol mi a real sahm now yuh soon see mi wid four a dem"

"Running from these shackles of mental slavery lord"

"Haha yuh stay deh, goodly yuh end up breed. Mi teach yuh bout safe sex don't?"

"Tavena yuh no affi cook or something"

"Then hear this likkle disrespectful lady hear bout cook, miss my husband is making my dinner okay"

"Alright ma'am all who no have husband a poppy show"

"Including you"

"Pickney come off a me phone and go attend to yuh coco melon baby no"

"Lol, Genie call yuh today?"

"No inno she no call mi from when a wah?"

"Oh true she a say she cyah come a girls night cause she sick"

"Oh wow, well mek we go look fi har later then"

"No mi love she change har mind and say we must just come a the spot instead cause she have news"

"Okay alright"

Ending the call I went to the closet to pick out something to wear since it's just the spot I don't have to do much. Getting my outfit on I fix it on my body making sure it's all straight and neat, facing the mirror I put on my gold accessories including a Brenda watch my man just got me.

 Getting my outfit on I fix it on my body making sure it's all straight and neat, facing the mirror I put on my gold accessories including a Brenda watch my man just got me

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