mona lisa , chris sturniolo

19 | little black box

♫  emotions / 5sos  ♫
☆
i don't want to talk about it
got too many things on my mind
don't mind me, i'm just feeling kinda broken
i just need a little time

🍊 🍊 🍊

| real life |

tw: discussion of deceased father

real life

Despite the fact that I am desperately hoping for a zombie apocalypse to commence on the drive from the McDonald's to the therapist's office, I unfortunately find myself sitting unscathed in the waiting room soon after abandoning Chris in the coffee shop next door.

The waiting room reminds me of a pick-me girl. Posters with inspirational quotes are plastered to the walls, plants are strategically placed in spots I am bound to trip over, and the smell of lavender is too strong to be calming.

I am having a staring contest with a teenage girl in a poster who is assuring me that it does get better! when someone calls my name.

"Brynlee?"

I break eye contact with the poster girl and spot a middle-aged woman that I vaguely recognize from her picture on the internet. Between the combination of her tall and soft figure, skin the colour of melting toffee, kind smile, soft-looking cardigan, and gentle brown eyes, I get the impression that she is dying to give me a big hug and feed me cookies.

"Hi!" I force a tone of peppiness into my voice, standing to greet her with a smile. "You must be Rhoda."

"Yes, it is so lovely to meet you." Rhoda sounds genuine when she says this, as if she is actually looking forward to getting to know me. "Shall we move into my office?"

I nod, forcing my mouth into a smile as I swallow down my nerves. "That sounds great."

Be brave, Brynlee, my dad's voice echoes in my head, and I quickly shove the thought to the side, refusing to grow emotional before even beginning my session.

I follow Rhoda into her office, taking in the white walls, various paintings and photographs of nature, the grey couch and two love seats, and her wooden desk in the corner, cluttered with all kinds of things. The smell of lavender from the waiting room is still present here, but it is significantly less overwhelming, and the cracked window adds the scent of fresh air.

"Feel free to sit whenever," Rhoda closes the door behind us as I carefully lower myself into one of the love seats. She grabs a notepad from her desk and plops down onto the couch across from me, smiling at me reassuringly. "Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself, Brynlee?"

I exhale slowly, my heart racing in my throat. "I usually go by Bryn," I offer, carefully crossing one of my legs over the other. "I am from Boston, but I am spending the summer out here with a few friends. I just finished my second year at university doing a dual major in biomedical sciences and business."

"That's so cool!" Rhoda exclaims, her pen still on her paper. "Why did you decide to study those things?"

I shrug, offering her a sheepish smile. "It's what my mom wanted me to study. She has a similar degree."

"I see," Rhoda nods, her face maintaining a neutral expression. "Why did you decide to come to LA for the summer?"

"I had a hard year and thought it might be good to get some space and refocus so I'm ready for school in the fall," I watch Rhoda make a quick note on her paper before she looks back up and smiles warmly at me.