Never Say Never

Chapter 3

 "Jeremiah and I are going to build a fort when I spend the night," Eli told her from the back seat as she drove him to school. This sleepover tomorrow was all he had been able to talk about all morning. "He said his daddy builds the most epic forts that take up the whole living room and he's gonna ask him if he'll build us one. And we're going to watch Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders. And Jeremiah has a gameboy and he said he's going to let me play on it! I think I'm going to ask Santa for a gameboy this Christmas!"

"Wow," Aly replied, smiling to herself as her eyes darted to the rearview mirror, relishing the excitement on her son's face. "Well, Christmas is pretty far away, buddy, but you save that idea."

"Well, Christmas is way closer than my birthday now because that already happened and I have to wait a whole ten months for my birthday to come again but Christmas is only eight months away."

"You're right. Christmas is closer."

"Yeah, and the Easter bunny doesn't bring stuff like gameboys. He just brings some candy and small stuff."

"That's right. I think asking Santa for it is a really good idea." Plus, that would give her some time to save up for it. She made good money but working off of a single income meant she started saving for Christmas long before the holiday arrived.

"Yeah, I think so too," her son replied, his little face serious. "Maybe I'll start working on my list so it's all ready. Oh! And Jeremiah said that we can ask his dad if we can go for a night walk. They take their flashlights and Miles and walk around in the dark! Isn't that cool?"

"The coolest! That all sounds pretty amazing, buddy. You're going to have the best time."

"I know! And we get to spend the whole day together! We have baseball and then we're going to get ice cream and then I'm sleeping at his house. It's going to be the best day of my whole life!"

She laughed, "Well, that's a pretty big statement. You still have a lot of life yet to go, but I am sure it will be the best day of your seven years so far."

Turning into the drop-off line, she waved to Ms. Lincoln, Eli's kindergarten teacher, who was standing to the side, greeting the kids as they came in. She'd been so vital to Eli that year. He'd lost his dad just a couple months into the year and she'd been so empathetic and kind to him. Aly would forever be grateful for the way she'd helped her son navigate such a confusing and awful time.

It had been difficult for Eli to understand the permanence of what had happened, especially when his dad being gone for a long period of time was not unusual. He continually asked when Justin was coming home, each inquiry another ice pick straight into her chest, when she would have to explain, again, that daddy couldn't come home this time. He couldn't ever come home again.

Ms. Lincoln had taken a special interest in him, knowing his love of superheroes, something that had come about because Aly had told him once that his daddy was one. Eli envisioned his dad like Superman, saving people's lives, which wasn't entirely untrue. His teacher was the one who encouraged him to draw. That was when he'd created Master Marine, a superhero with blond hair and blue eyes just like his dad that swooped in and saved the day, defeating the bad guys.

Every single time a new picture made its way onto her fridge, Aly would battle back the darkness. The darkness that sat just to the side, waiting to swallow her whole. The darkness she fought every morning, knowing she had to get up, knowing she had to keep moving or she would become stuck. And she couldn't become stuck because her son needed her.

He needed her to be his mother, needed her to be strong and show him that everything was okay, needed her to keep going to her job so they had a place to live and food to eat. So as much as those pictures used to tear her up, take whatever pieces she'd managed to tape back together and run them through the shredder each time they appeared, she knew they were helping her son cope. Even his therapist had said art was an excellent outlet for him. So, when he would present her with a new one, Master Marine saving a young child that looked just like Eli from a bully at school or saving a woman with her hair and eyes from an evil mastermind, she would smile and gush about how amazing it was, sticking it to the fridge with a magnet.