Keep An Open Mind {Lynn Gunn}

21) Using Words As A Comforter

The green area surrounded by trees, bushes and rocks, the atmosphere of uncontaminated nature, the smell of green grass and fresh soft soil, the sun lighting up your face and tanning your skin lightly step by step, letting you feel the warmth on your neck, and the clapping of your horse's hooves knocking to the ground, making you jump slightly at each step, the wind rushing through your hair.

"Lyyynn. Hey, Lynn? Gummy Gunny?" Jenna called, waving her hand in my face. I looked up at her and she giggled. Heck, how long has she been calling me?

"Oh uh yeah I'm here..." I said awkwardly "Why Gummy Gunny?" I asked, scrunching my nose and furrowing my eyebrows.

"Because." she thought about it for a moment. "It rhymes so it's cool." she shrugged, causing me to mentally face palm.

"So um what were you talking about over the phone?" I asked. She gave a small smile.

"Tay suggested to hang out at the park or something today and I was thinking, would you like to come with?" she asked, with a glimpse of hope in her voice. I chewed the inside of my cheek.

Taylor Jardine ugh. For some reason I didn't like her. Sometimes I would come here in the weekends only to find out that Jenna's out with Tay and would have to ride alone. Not that I didn't like riding alone, but sometimes it just makes you feel lonely. And like Jenna said, it's better to have someone to feel less lonely with.

Of course Tay was her best friend, she came first and was always ahead of the complicated cousin right? It's obvious that she preferred her, I bet Tay did not have any problem at all.

Tay probably did not have to deal with some messed up dream, she didn't go to therapy, she didn't hate nearly everything, she didn't build up so many complexes.

Average. She was so average. Everyone was average apart from me, I wish I was like that too. I wish I actually had a choice, because I really did want to be normal. Like Jenna, like Tay, like Cassadee. They all seemed so... at peace. Without one care in the world.

The truth is everyone would leave someone like me alone, not even the purest soul in the Earth would care about poor little Lynn. That's why people stayed away from me, I was trouble, I was an hindrance for their perfect settled lives, why bother?

"Um you can go without me." I said quietly, tapping on my leg with my fingers. I didn't feel like going out with any of Jenna's friends, I had met some before and they were not my type. They made me feel so uncomfortable. She raised her eyebrows at me.

"You sure?" she asked with puppy eyes.

"Yeah." I sighed. "Go to Tay now, please." I didn't want it to sound that bitter. Her face saddened a bit and I decided to look down at my shoes, avoiding her eyes. Jenna sat down beside me.

"I can bail, if you want." she said quietly. I felt her eyes on me but didn't turn.

"I mean, I wouldn't exactly bail, I would call to inform." I shook my head in confusion. Why would she do that to her best friend? For me? No way.

"No, no... why though?" I turned my head to her and she sighed.

"Because you're my friend too, and friends don't ditch other friends That's not how it works. And it's fun to hang out with you, although you might prefer being alone." I stayed silent. I don't know if it's fun to hang out with me, I'm one of a kind... and it's not hard to dislike it.

Maybe the fear of not being accepted had always put limits to my confidence and way to carry myself. But I was used to be treated in different ways than the others.

Jenna sighed again, dragging me out of my zoning out once again.

"You know, I get that you're going through a hard time, I'm not going to leave you right now. Cousins stick together." she said, with a cheery little smile.