The Lost Stark

Finding a way forward.

~Daenerys
"I don't bother wiping the endless stream of tears from my eyes when I hear the door open; it's pointless to do so and only irritates the already raw skin of my face. Is it ladylike? No. If anyone wishes to come in and bother us after refusing to heed my warning about staying away from our quarters, as I had ordered three days ago then they can deal with the mess that I have become since then.
"How is she?" I jump in surprise at the sound of Jon's voice as the wooden door closes behind him. Opening my mouth, I try to find the words to reassure him that his sister is significantly better and will be alright, but they don't come because it's not true. While there is more color to her skin as she warms, she still has yet to wake. Even though I would rather have Alexandria here to help her, the Maester of Eastwatch was the best that was offered. Although he has yet to stop in this morning to do his daily check on the wound left from the Night King.
My eyes travel to the tan bandages discolored with medicines and salves covering her shoulder. I had tried to be strong for her, yet when the Maester, whom Ser Davos brought in, exposed it while checking her over, I broke. I remember the gaping hole tinged with frost that looked like molten sapphire, and the blackened blood that seeped from it before the Maester was able to cauterize it with a heated dagger of Dragonglass, as Gendry and Ser Davos insisted him to use.
The magic that Alexandria once told me that lived within us had shown its color then. The hiss of smoke that whisped through the air when it touched her wound had been etched into my mind, while we watched the icy veins retract back to their source until the black blood ran red once more. However, when he had pulled away after sewing the hole shut, the skin left was not the red puffy scar I was hoping for but a blue so cold that it will forever remind her of that day. The day she had sacrificed everything for her brother, the day she looked true death in the eye and won.
"Your Grace," I hear the plea over his heavy footsteps that draw closer.
"She's still the same," I whisper. "She has yet to wake, and warms slowly by the hour."
"The Maester had said it might be a few more days before she does," he says, coming to a stop by her shoulder on the opposite side of the bed.
"What happened out there?" I ask, not knowing if I want the answer, but deep down I have to know.
His pain-filled eyes meet mine for a moment before dropping down to his sister. "We had managed to secure the dead man from one of their small scouting parties, but he knew." He takes a ragged breath and leans against the small chest of drawers next to the bed. "The dead man, he let out a screech so horrible I thought we would have been deafened. When the clouds gathered in the distance, I had ordered Gendry to run back to Eastwatch to send word to you and Ryker." Meeting his eyes once more, I understand now that he is blaming himself. "If I had known what the cost of saving our lives would have been, I would have thought of another plan. I am so sorry, Your Grace. I—"
"Daenerys," I whisper in an attempt to correct him. "We are family, Jon, now that we are on the same side. Please call me Daenerys."
"As you wish," he nods in return before continuing with a sigh. "We led the army away from Gendry to avoid him being caught by the dead or White Walkers. Our path took us to a barely frozen lake with a boulder island. My intentions were to continue on, hoping they wouldn't follow, but the army." He pauses, closing his eyes as a visible shudder runs through his body. "The army is not only vast, they move at a speed in which you would have to be on horseback to have a chance of escaping them. In no time, we were surrounded, so we hunkered down and prayed that Gendry made it."
"He did," I lean forward, taking hold of my wife's cold hand. "From what I heard, he was almost completely frostbitten by the time he reached the tunnel."
"He's a strong young man, eager to please and serve. The entire journey, he was headstrong about proving his worth to her before meeting you, in hopes that if he impressed Ryker, it would be safe to be who he really is around you," Jon states somberly, moving his eyes back to his sister. "Ser Davos said that he was ready to go before he even asked, as if he was waiting for a reason to leave the filth of Flea Bottom so long as it was with Ser Davos."
An involuntary laugh escapes my throat as I think of the conversation the young man, Ser Davos, and I had. "He had nothing to worry about. He was not the Baratheon who overthrew my family; he is not to be held responsible," I assure him.
"I think it is more of the fact that he still feared for his life living under the Red Keep," Jon says, shooting me a confused look, asking for him to explain. "When Joffrey took the throne, the rumors that him, his brother, and sister were all the bastard children of Jamie Lannister spread throughout Westeros. King Stannis had told me our father had come upon a book of heritage for all the noble houses; father wrote to him and expressed his worries were confirmed when he confronted Queen Cersei. In a sick attempt to quell those rumors, he had ordered the Kingsguard to scour the Seven Kingdoms for every bastard child Robert Baratheon ever sired and put them to the sword."
"That's horrible," I whisper in shock. "Please tell me the Knights of the Kingsguard refused the order."
"Unfortunately not, well only Ser Barristan, but he was soon dismissed after King Robert died either way. Joffrey replaced him with his uncle Jamie Lannister, who was a captive of our brother Robb, so Joffrey had Ser Meryn Trant stand in for him, who was no better than Joffrey himself," he sighs, running his hand through his curly hair. "Nevertheless, Gendry is a good lad; he wishes to serve not only my sister but you as well."
"I have already had the discussion with him," I mutter, threading our fingers together. "He is welcome into our company so long as we remain on the same side." Leaning forward, I place a kiss on the back of her hand, then lean my forehead against the furs on the bed. "What happened after getting to the boulder Island?"
After a long pause, I hear the unsettling breath of air. "We waited. Not much else to do until The Hound started throwing rocks at them. The last one fell short; it skirted across the ice, and they knew. They knew that the ice was safe enough to travel on and they took advantage of it. They charged from every direction; we retreated to the furthest portion of the boulder. We lost a few and were becoming overwhelmed when the winds shifted." He pauses to take a breath. "The gusts seemed as if they were targeting the dead; it was like they were fighting with us. Then a blast of pure white and blue flames came from the sky, and Ryker was there. She fought the moment she dismounted from its back and watched our back until we were all on. When we were high in the sky is when the spear hit her; I tried to grab hold of her, but I was too late." He finishes, placing a hand gently on her forehead before leaning down and giving it a brotherly kiss.
"It wasn't your fault," I whisper to him. "You have to know that."
"If I hadn't—"
"No. If I had believed in you both rather than those who were failing me in my quest for the Throne, then we wouldn't have been put in this position. We would be preparing for the only war that matters instead of hoping she survives this," I tell him firmly.
"Whether the blame lays with you or me, it matters not. She will survive; she has to," he huffs out, then turns to the door. "I had originally come to inform you that we will be departing in a few hours' time. The tunnel here is freezing over now; Edd believes they will be frozen in another day's time."
"Thank you," I whisper, keeping my gaze on my unmoving wife. "Jon." I call out to him before he walks out of the door. "The man who brought her to The Wall. You called him your Uncle?"
"Aye, he was Head Ranger when I first came to The Wall."
"Will he be joining us?"
A fresh wave of grief flickers on his face as he meets my eyes. "He has decided to stay North. When Ryker awakes, we will talk more about our uncle she deserves to be the first to know."
Nodding my head in understanding, I let him walk out of the chamber.