I'm Just a Loser: A BigBang Fanfiction

Please Take Me Away

A/N: This quote inspired some of the stuff in this chapter. I keep finding awesome stuff like this on Instagram and it's helping me write like A TON. So please, if you have anything that you think would be good inspiration, let me know or send it to me! You guys are awesome. Hope you all like this chapter. Got some more panda action in here for ya because I love writing about him and Ri is my lil bae. ❤️

Xoxo

Livi

----------

"Noona," SeungRi sobbed in to my shoulder as I combed my fingers through his hair attempting to calm him in any way possible,"I feel like I can't breathe."
"I know Ri," I tried to comfort him again by holding him close,"I know."
We all sat in the conference room for a while after YG had walked out.
"Noona?" He asked me against my shoulder.
"Hm?"
"Did Hyung leave already?"
"I think so," my words trigger another round of sobs from him as he releases his sadness through his tears.
"I don't know what to do," his breath is broken as he tries to regain some strength.
"We will figure it out. I promise."
"Did you know about this?" Ji asks from the small leather couch holding Ha Neul's head in his lap after she has cried herself to sleep.
"Yes. But only for a little while. I didn't want to tell you guys because YG would have been pissed." I choke out while comforting Ri as much as possible. He was like my sweet little brother and I wanted him to feel as little pain as I could remedy.
"Why the hell didn't you stop him?" Youngbae raises his voice.
"I couldn't. Believe me I tried. I tried as best as I could. But he pushed me away. He even said that if we see each other again...he will pretend not to know me." I try to defend myself but my walls were already too broken to protect me from any more damage.
"You could have told us," Daesung looks at my from the corner of the room near the door. The pain that I was feeling was overwhelming.
"I'm so sorry-"
"Sorry isn't enough," Ji's anger heightens and he is stopped from standing up by a sleeping Ha Neul on his lap.
"Hyung, don't you dare get angry at Noona. She did all she could. Do you know how much she does for us? Be grateful. Everything is already too fucked up to be turning on each other. We need to stick together and keep each other safe." Ri looks up at Ji from my lap and I hug him.
"Sorry..." Ji says under his breath and then turns his attention to Ha,"you are cute when you sleep you know that?" His voice is light although it still makes her open her eyes to meet his.
"Really?" she smiles.
"Yes," he kisses her lightly and they both stand up.
"What are we going to do?" Daesung asks.
"I don't know." I repeat.
"We can't even leave because we are working on the album. Shit, the album! Oh my god what are we going to do about that? The fans. The songs. The press. We are so fucked." Ji presses his forehead against the white wall in frustration.
"Bree could go to LA with Ha," Youngbae suggests.
"He won't speak to me." I look down.
"I guess we will just have to wait for him," Ha leans against the wall next to Ji.
"I am so scared." I say without emotion.
"We all are," Ri looked at me with his sweet little panda eyes.
"I love all of you," my voice is shaky and unsure although my statement is sincere.
"We love you too Bree." Youngbae says and we all collect together for a group hug. I don't know what I would do without them. They were my family and I knew I could count on them even with this going on. They would always be there for me no matter what.

•••

"Can we please get some?" SeungRi was practically licking the glass separating him from the ice cream inside the case.
"You are such a creepy little Asian," Ji keeps walking down the street as we all make our way back to the agency after lunch, one that I didn't eat.
"Hey you are an Asian! We all are...well..." he turns to me, "except Bree." He runs catching up to us not wanting to leave the ice cream vendor.
"Yeah well we aren't creepy and little like you." Ji smirks holding Ha's hand.
"Youngbae is shorter than me,so doesn't that make him little?" he laughs but Youngbae smacks the side of his head causing him to whine.
"Shut up. You are creepy and little so be quiet," Youngbae says sharply as we walk in to the agency, not wanting to do the rest of the day's work.
"Why are you all so mean to me?" He sulks and I wrap my arm around him.
"Except Noona." He laughs and Ha wraps her arm around him on the other side,"both noonas!"
"Excuse me," Ji grasps Ha Neul's waist and pulls her toward him kissing her deeply while watching Ri out of the corner of his eye.
"Okay I get it," Ri looks away in disgust,"I GET IT!"
"Just making sure," he smiles at Ha as she stands a bit speechless.

As much as I supported them being together, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous. I missed the way Seung was so protective over me. I really liked it. It made me feel so safe. I just missed him so much. Every second it ate away at me more and more. I wanted him back more than anything. I wanted his scent, his touch, his voice. I wanted my Seunghyun back.

•••

"Please just answer," I say to myself as I call his phone again, a few days after he had left. I felt just as hopeless as when he wouldn't answer a few months ago. I hated thinking about that day, when he left me alone out there. But it didn't matter at least not right now.
"Hi," I say after the beep on the voicemail box,"we all miss you like crazy. I miss you. Please just listen to me. I love you. You can push me away Seung but you are my true love. I remember when I was really young and I dreamed of having someone in my life like you. I dreamed of having a life with someone who loved me. I can't live without you. I'm not kidding. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm sick Seung. And I know you are too. You make me feel so safe and right now I feel so vulnerable. Please don't push me away. Recognize my voice. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and I love you with such an immeasurable passion. There is no one in this world like you. Please just listen to-"
"This message box is full. Please contact this number again." I am cut off my an electronic voice.
"No," I whisper,"no..."

------------

Okay so I wrote this a little while ago and thought I updated when I didn't...So hope ya'll like this one and DON'T WORRY everything will work out. I promise. Love all the support and is anyone else super excited for the next release the guys are doing?! Omg I am!!!! See you soon and sorry this update is so short!

Xoxo

Livi