Abused and Unloved~

Chapter Thirty One

Maria and Greg made the conscious decision to ignore my odd behavior because they knew this was an overwhelming experience for me.

We reach the inside and her mother was gliding around, playing the part of a gracious host. I wanted to be angry at her for not feeling as much pain as I did. Lucinda wasn't even my daughter and I had trouble sleeping. But I've learned I can't control how other people deal with things and feel.

We make our way to the backyard, Greg and Maria doing most of the talking for me, and we sit at the designated table. I focused on the center flowers and tapped the table lightly with my nails. I didn't care if I looked weird or mental, I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown and I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't.

"Greg, Maria, how are you?" I hear Lilith's angelically light voice and for once it didn't make me feel better, it made my heart and stomach sink as it reminded me that Jayden and our unresolved issues came with them.

Lilith immediately kisses my cheek not feeling the need to formally greet me as she always treated me like her own daughter.

Diego soon follows and the only one left to greet me was Jayden. When I didn't sense the presence of anyone else, I turn around and saw he was actually on the phone near the open gate entrance with his brows furrowed meaning her was either confused or frustrated.

I turned back around and rest my head in my hand. I could get through it. I would be fine.

"Hello hello everyone. Welcome. Food will be served after the body viewing." I gently slammed my head into my arms on the table. I felt Diego, who had sat next to me, rub soft circles on my back understanding my reaction. I felt really lucky to have met Lilith and Diego, they were second parents to me when I didn't have any.

"Jayden, how are you?"
"Good sir, and you?"

Now I really felt like slamming my head into the table.

His familiar hand landed gently on my shoulder then his mouth was next to my ear, "We need to talk." His deep voice almost intimidated me, but I reminded myself who I was talking to.

My softy ass boyfriend.

"No."

He sighed in irritation standing a bit straighter. I knew something was bothering him, other than the fact that I was being difficult.

"I have things I need to tell you."
"Fine." I grumbled standing up sending him a small glare before walking ahead of him to a place where we could talk privately. He only chuckled at my immaturity and followed me.

It wasn't clear even to me exactly what I was furious about, I just felt angry all the time lately, and people calling me out on the behavior triggered shutting down as a coping mechanism.

We stopped under a tree. I noticed a few little girls at a distance running around in cute white dresses and frilly socks. I wondered if they knew Lucy. Maybe they were related to her. Did they have a clue about what was going on?

"I'm sorry for being harsh with you yesterday, I know you're—"
"I'm not fragile."
"I was going to say sensitive."

I turn back around to face him with a frown watching as he leaned nonchalantly against the tree with his hands in his dress pant pockets. I hadn't noticed how nice he looked. I was more focused on being mad at him, or maybe just avoiding him without actually avoiding him.