the ships in this book are bipolar

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Courtney: company is on the way! i want this place looking like disney on ice in one minute!
Courtney: gwen, if you haven't made your bed yet, throw it away. It's too late now.
Courtney: GET RID OF THE COUCHES! WE CANT LET PEOPLE KNOW WE SIT!

Gwen: birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. let's do it, lets go hurtling straight into a sliding glass door and die.

*at a bank teller window*

Izzy, in a bad Italian accent: i'd like-a to make-a da deposit!
Bank teller: hey, wait, i remember you!
Izzy: *frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*
Bank teller: GODDAMNIT ITS THEM AGAIN

Cody: dating tip! hold the door for your date. rip the door off its hinges. attack everyone within 6 feet of your date. establish dominance.
Heather: this is why you're single.

Cameron: i've never been to a snowball fight before, i dont know the rules.
Zoey: what?
Cameron: like is there a point system or is it just a fight to the death?

Eva: you're so annoying.
Izzy: then stop holding my hand.
Eva: no.

Emma: no, kitty. i do not like noah.
Kitty, ducking: YOOO I ALMOST GOT HIT BY YOUR BULLSHIT OVER THERE

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