The Broken Wolf

Prologue - Bianca

The Blood Claim was beyond demeaning. It was the most painful thing I've had to endure and that's saying a lot considering the shit Ulrik and his men like to do to me.

But that Mark...

My wolf disappeared for a few days afterwards. She tried so hard to protect me from the pain of it and it destroyed her. She howled and crumbled. She retreated so far back in my mind I thought I lost her. I thought she was gone forever.

I wouldn't have blamed her for it either. I would have been alone, and I'd have accepted it. That through it all, I couldn't be there for my brother. Couldn't protect myself. And couldn't even protect her.

When she came back to me, I cried atrociously in the shower. For hours, I cried and cried to her. Shifting back and forth in the tub as the pain grappled the both of us.

I apologized and racked with so much guilt, I think she almost broke too.

I'm right here, Bianca. She reminded me even though her voice and essence was tired. I won't leave again.

"I'm sorry." I trembled in the cold shower. Sobbing and trying to scratch my own skin off. I hate my body. I hate my hair. My entire being. And that stupid Mark stares at me now. A constant reminder that I'm worth nothing.

Bianca...

"I'm sorry I'm your human." I screamed into my hands to muffle the sound.

I'm right here. My wolf whined.

"I'm sorry."

She didn't want to leave after the Mark, but she had no choice. Whatever runs through our bodies, through our instincts, I know it sliced and hurt her terribly to feel a Mark that didn't belong to our Mate. I know she absorbed it all to try and protect me, but I felt it too.

The searing pain.

The atrocious shame.

The anger.

And I had to bottle it up all so that Ulrik would finish and just leave me be.

I think he saw what the Mark did to me because he didn't bother me for two weeks. He made sure none of the men would bother me. Instead, Roderick and I would go on walks around the Silfur.

I know Roderick could tell something was wrong, but I was never one to share my feelings and he was never the kind to push me for them. Maybe in a different world, we would have worked. 

Roderick would try to get me to open up despite him being unsure how. But I clamped entirely. Reminding myself that he wouldn't want me if he knew. My stomach turning at the thought that one day he'll know. One day, he'll want to Mark me.

A part of him has to know though. To some extent. I don't know what Ulrik said to him, but Roderick was in my Blood Claim. If anything happens to him, it happens to me. Which means...a part of Roderick must know.

I don't know what to feel about that either.

Nothing. I feel nothing. 

And yet, as horrific as the Mark was, nothing prepared me for this morning. I can't remember anything from today. Not after I saw those two red lines.

I can't think beyond those two red lines. I spent the entire morning trying to figure out who it belongs to. But I know...I know it's his.

My wolf knew about the pregnancy before me. She's the one that encouraged me to find a pregnancy test. I think Ulrik knows too because he's been much gentler. I don't think Roderick knows. I don't know what Roderick will do when he finds out.