Zombies Vs Aliens: Respawn

Chapter 14.2

It took a full minute of staring at the burnt field for the other shoe to drop. I spun around, slamming my hands down on Bert's shoulders.

"You can talk! What happened to you? Where's Ernie? Did you see what happened to the others?" I paused long enough to swallow through the tightness radiating up from my chest. "Is she alive?" Pathetic, couldn't even say her name.

Bert's tattered eyebrows pulled together. He clasped one of my hands and grunted. Maybe his mental faculties weren't as boosted as I hoped. His fingers rubbed the column of his throat as a garbled string of noises spilled from his mouth.

"You can shush me, but can't string two words together? That's worse than J.D."

His eyebrows pulled down in an apparent glare. Despite the situation, a giggle popped from my lips. He tilted his head, revealing a surprising spill of wispy curls.

"I guess you're not really a Muppet anymore," I said, looking back at the field. Was Ernie not here because he'd been dusted? Had they taken Wolf Girl or did she get the red mist treatment? The idea stung with all the sharp intensity of a paper cut beneath the fingernails. I couldn't stand to think of her dead, simply had to find her. She was the terrifying little sister I never had.

Was I so sure I didn't have a sister?

Maybe, but I bet she wasn't like Wolf Girl. Bert rested his chin on my head, leaning into me. I turned, wrapping him in a fierce hug. One, I found one of three. It didn't matter how much his appearance changed, he was still one of my boys.

"Next time I see that bitch I'm going to break her jaw."

Bert huffed into my hair.

I returned to find Fred still pinned to the tree, his face scrunched up as he dry sobbed to J.D., the blubbering words not quite clear though I picked out words like fake puke and movie theater, wondering what the hell Fred was going on about. 

"Why is he still treed?"

"Little shit won't tell me what happened, started confessing every damn sin of his childhood." J.D. frowned, scratching an elbow. "When did he get his memory back?"

Wait, I recognized that speech. I knew that speech. Why did I know that speech? That pop-centric part of my brain clicked over and I sighed, reaching deep to gather my patience. "That's not his childhood memory. That's Chunk's confession from the Goonies."

"Seriously?"

"Probably word for word."

J.D.'s expression was a mix of incredulous and impressed. He rubbed the space between his eyebrows, clearly at the end of his own rope. "Why can't the man answer a simple question. Does he care about Wolf Girl at all?"

Fred fell silent. It was the longest pause he'd taken in days.

"I do care, Corporal Klinger, and would gladly explain to you what happened. If you can get off your high horse long enough to stop judging and free me I would be sincerely fucking grateful."

"That's it," J.D. surged forward. I grabbed him, digging my heels into the ground to keep him from beating the crap out of an unarmed and tied up Fred.

"Let me," I said, approaching my first real companion on this insane journey with all the heartache and apprehension I felt woven into my expression. Fred flinched when I stopped in front of him, looking at my incredibly muddy shoes. "What happened?"

"I screwed up," he told my shoes. "I listened to my wang instead of paying attention and they got the drop on me. One of them conked me good. I must have blacked out because next thing I knew, they were making off with our stuff."

"What happened to Wolf Girl?"

Fred shuffled his feet against the trunk. "Last I saw, she monkey jumped on Princess's back, tearing at her hair." He finally looked up, a grim twist of humor in his face. "Definitely one of her finer-what in the nine hells is that?" He finished with a yelp.

I looked over my shoulder, turning back to him with a confused frown. "Jeeze, Fred, it's just Bert."

"He did not look like that when he ran off," Fred hissed, his wide eyed gaze darting over our rejuvenating companion. "He looks like an extra prop from the Mummy."

"Fred, I can hear you, and so can the prop." J.D. nodded to Bert, who copied the soldier's cross armed gesture.

"Can you keep your mouth shut long enough for me to get you down from here?"

"Possibly." He pouted. The idiot. I rolled a log under his feet, giving him something to brace off of. It still took myself and a reluctant J.D. prying at the sides to wrench him free.

"Which one cinched you in there, man? They nearly went through the damn tree." J.D. prodded the empty gash in the bark.

Fred shook himself, brushing metal flakes and splinters off his chest. "Ginger. That girl's a monster."

I couldn't agree more. With Fred free, I slumped on the nearest log, putting my head in my hands. "How are we going to find them? They could be hundreds of miles away by now. What if they killed her?"

"Then we kill them," said Fred, easing down next to me.

"What do you mean hundreds of miles away?" J.D. was studying Bert as he spoke, the Muppet's movements mirroring his as he walked around him.

"Their trail kind of ended at the take off site of another ship."

J.D.'s head snapped up. "You don't think..."

"There was no sign of struggle."

Fred help up his hands. "Time out, are you suggesting the she-bitches are working with the aliens?"

"Why else would they send us on a goose chase? There was nothing there! Why do you think we booked it back here so damn fast?" I was two octaves from shouting at him. His mouth moved without words. He looked at his hands.

"It doesn't make sense."

"Spit it out, Chunk," J.D. grumped, glaring sideways as Bert tried to lean on him.

"They were antsy, but they didn't attack me right away. They waited for a good advantage. And they were adamant there was a ship in Surwich. They were counting on it." Fred looked up at me. "Princess Bitch-face was certain they'd kill you, hoping you would off a few of them in the process."

"Have I mentioned I really don't like her," I said through my teeth.

"Yeah, you and everyone else." Fred kicked a nearby log into a cloud of wood chips. "But the ship was here, it doesn't make sense."

That couldn't be it. There had to be something we could do. "We can't give up on Wolf Girl."

J.D.'s feet halted in my peripheral. He'd planted himself next to us, his gun swung back up over his shoulder. "We won't give up." He nodded back towards the road. " I think we need to pay Surwich another visit."

***Fred's confession speech reference is from the 1985 film the Goonies. If you've never seen it, go get a copy. Witness the magic of the 80's. And yes, yes that is Samwise Gamgee. Don't forget to vote!***