B

funeral

Margos POV

I'm glad I woke up before the funeral. I wouldn't want to miss the love of my life's funeral. I say I'm glad but just because I say something doesn't mean it's true. It was difficult to wake up this morning. All I felt was sadness, other than the tiredness that crept up underneath it. I was back in my bed, at my house. My mom came home and decided take some days of to support me. It was strange to say the least. Having her back just because the most important person was gone from my life, yes strange. She's never even met him before. I told her about him but she never tried to actually meet him. A year ago I was proud of my mom's hard work but recently I realized how much she's not a mother. Now she wants to be in my life when the worse thing has happened to me, how typical. I've been ignoring her. I register that I need to get out of bed. I didn't want to but I have to, for Billy. I collect myself and get up. My side started to hurt. Turns out the monster tore a chunk of flesh out of my abdomen (like the side of my waist) which tore a small part of my intestines. I have medicine thank god but it wasn't the same like the kind in the IV's. I had stitches and were told to be careful for the next few days. I kind of wish I died with Billy. Maybe I shouldnt be talking like this right now. I walked to my mirror in the corner of my room and saw a dress hanging on it. My mom must've left it for me. It was an all black, to the knees, long sleeve dress. I put it on and smiled. Billy would've loved this look on me despite the reasoning for me wearing it. It came off my shoulders a bit, not in a sexy way, more in a formal way. I quickly put on my red converse, not caring what it looked liked. I saw his jacket sitting on my desk. I wanted to wear it and take it with me but I hesitated. It's also summertime and I don't want to burn to death, I'm already in long sleeves. I sigh and leave my room. I felt slow like something was holding me back. I gasp and run back to my room. I grab my promise ring off of my vanity. I almost forgot it, it's the ring Billy gave me. I gazed at it and rolled my thumb over it. I tear dropped from my eye and I groaned loudly. I'm already fucking crying. I hurry and get out of the house. I sigh when I hear my mom coming out after me.
"Margo wait for me." She said and rushed inside. I huffed and waited in her car. It felt like forever but it wasn't, she came out and we left. She tried to make small talk but I just ignored her. I attempted to hold back my thoughts the ride there. I already know now I won't want to talk and hear the constant 'I'm sorry for your loss'. I'm not ready for this. We pull up to the grave sight and at a slow pace I make it to the spot. People started to slowly surround his casket. I guess this is how the funeral I going to be. I've never been to one so I wouldn't know. I'm glad the casket is closed, it would be difficult to see Billy again. I saw max and went beside her. I nudged her side just a bit and smiled. I know she's not okay like me. There weren't too many people here. Susan was here and Neil wasn't. I'm glad he's not here, after all the shit he's done to Billy. It makes me furious thinking about it. Some people from school showed up but not many. It made me sad but then again that's less people to deal with. The preacher started to talk and I pretty much didn't listen to a word he said. I thought I would but I couldn't.
"Hey." Max poked my arm, taking me away from my mind.
"I got these for you." She says and takes something out of her pocket. I watch her and she pulls out two necklaces. I take them from her hand and admire them. They were Billy's necklaces, the one I gave him and his mother's. I tear up and hug her quickly. I suddenly put them on my neck. I run my thumb over them, this oddly makes me feel closer to him.
"Margo? Do you have anything you'd like to say?" The preacher asked me. I didn't respond I just switched places with him. I peered down to Billy's casket. This is all so weird. After everything that happened lately and now this.
"Um Billy didn't deserve to die. He didn't deserve a lot of stuff that has happened in his life. I love him and I'll always love him." I sniffled at the end and decided that was enough. I scanned my hand over his casket. I couldn't stay here any longer so I left. I hugged max and started to walk away. My mom followed me close.
"Margo please, stop." My mom says and I turn to her.
"I want to be on my own. Let me go please." I tell my mom, luckily she let's me go. I need time to myself. I'll just walk for awhile.

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