A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

49

"What a joke..." I mumble under my breath, thinking I was meant to suffer in hell. After all the lives I took and the indescribable things I did for survival.

With enough strength, I sit up only to find a slim figure in a white dress standing on the shore. With her back facing me, she is staring at the horizon and her hair flows in the direction of the strong wind. I wait with bated breath for this person to turn around. And then she did. My body is filled with light when those beautiful doe eyes stare back. At this very moment, I stumble before getting on my feet and sprinting across the sand towards her. Without a doubt, the lady right in front of me is Sina.

Sina opens her arms invitingly and I crash in, circling my arms around her while choking back my tears. I missed this, and I refuse to let go from here. Her scent finally hits me. It is her, but how? Am I really dead? Is this the afterlife?

"I'm so sorry... for leaving you so soon," Sina speaks in a heartbreaking tone and I shake my head against her neck.

"It's not your fault," I whisper. "I should be the one to apologize. I can't imagine how painful and lonely you must have felt without me..."

There was a heavy pause until Sina shook her head on my shoulder. "Don't blame yourself."

I swallow hard. "Aren't you upset with me?"

"What?" Sina was startled.

"You're supposed to hate me," I tell forcefully. Ever since she passed, many things were left unsaid between us.

"Levi," Sina says calmly, rubbing the back of my neck with her hand. "Even if I am upset right now, I cannot bring myself to hate you. Because everything you've done was not wrong."

"But I took your freedom. You never had a chance to discover your full potential in the world."

Sina lets out a breathy smile into my ear. "In my own life, I never wanted to be the center of attention. I may have been a hero in the eyes of many, but at the end of the day, I was simply human."

Despite the strong emotions, I question further with shame. "Have you ever regretted, in all this time, never finding your purpose?"

Sina ponders for a moment, then softly sighs. "In truth, I've never really understood the purpose of my existence, or what I was capable of contributing to the world," she explains. "I never once regret my decisions. Even when I knew my fate was coming to an end." And of course, one can't control their own fate.

"I don't understand..." I confess, still regretful. "Why do you wish for me to fight for humanity over you? After all the things they've done to you? Why am I still fighting the battles I can't win? What are we gaining from this? Why is the world the way it is?"

"Humanity is selfish," Sina admits since she learned that the hard way. We all did. "But, that doesn't mean every human doesn't deserve to live. There is good in some people. That's why I want you to keep on fighting for what is right."

"You're too compassionate," I say softly yet harsh. She is too good for the world. And the world did not deserve her.

"I think it is the right thing to do." She hugs my body a bit tighter. "Despite the pain and fear I had to endure, I never once stopped believing in the beauty of the world."

I push on her shoulders to admire her stunning face once again. I missed every part of her, and she effortlessly stood out under the sun. I take a deep breath of the salty air. "If I keep on fighting, will it all be worth it in the end?"

"That all depends on you." Sina tilts her head to the side, moving a few stands of hair away to reveal more of my eyes as she also missed them so dearly. "Your willingness to fight means that you haven't given up on the world yet. I know life is hard at the moment, but you still have the rest of your life to live. I wouldn't want to see you spend it feeling regretful."