Shattered Souls (BTS)

Chapter 27: Madeline

That horrible dream she had came to mind. She was a mistake—that was what she believed deep down. She didn't deserve them.

But why didn't she? What had she done that was so bad? Being born? Her father never gave her any indication she was a mistake. Neither did June or her brothers.

Her next words could determine her entire future. If she chose the safe option, then she'd live like she always had been, half-living. She'd be an outsider, staring into everyone else's happy and content lives.

But if she chose to be with them, she would hopefully feel what she's always wanted to feel. Love. But with love, came heartache and pain. She'd experience that too.

Something June once told her came to mind. Life is beautiful and messy. Nobody is ever guaranteed complete happiness. There will be trials. There will be highs and lows. But that's what makes it so great. You have to face the bad so that you can truly appreciate the good.

It was cheesy but she was right. You had to face the bad—the sadness and pain—in order to have the good moments.

With that last thought in mind, she finally answered.

"I don't want to be alone. I never did. But I don't know how to do this. It's completely new territory for me. I—I'm afraid." She admitted, opening up.

Seeing this, Hobi moved closer and gently took her hand. The bond sang with joy and her heart thundered in her chest.

"We don't really know what to do either. It's new for all of us. Instead of one person leading, why don't we navigate it together?" He suggested, glancing at Jungkook to see if he was on board.

He still had a slight dazed look to him but he nodded his head vehemently in agreement.

"I'm terrified too but isn't it better to all be terrified than nobody? You're not alone," Jungkook said in perfect English. His new bond had given him the gift of understanding her language.

"Okay," She blew out a breath. "But it won't be easy for me. I won't always open up and I will run if I see anything dangerous."

"Don't worry, darling," Hobi murmured in a soothing voice. "If you run, we'll catch you."

***

AFTER THEIR SHORT date, Madeline headed home feeling lighter and...happy.

Dash interrogated her the whole way home, asking what had happened. He could tell something good had happened, based on the small spring in her steps. Thankfully, her father and June were at work when she got home so they couldn't ask her any questions.

She found Lemar playing an intense video game in his room. She hadn't spent as much time with him lately.

He was a very closed-off person like herself and only hung out with his best friend, Charlie. She had met him a few times and liked that he was quiet and calm.

Madeline watched the screen for a few moments, enjoying the fact they could sit in a room and not say anything without it being awkward.

Once he had finished his level, he paused the game and smiled at her. "How was the walk?"

By the tone of his voice, she could tell he knew that her soul mates would be there.

"It was... surprising," She admitted, vaguely.

"Hmm," Lemar hummed. Madeline readjusted her position on her bean bag, getting comfortable.

"What you said the other day stuck with me. You hit the mark. I don't want to upset my mom, nor do I want to face the possibility of losing my soul mates. I recalled what you and your mom said during the walk and managed to talk freely with my soul mates." She told him, grateful he had told her what she needed to hear. It was painful at the time but it was necessary.

Lemar blushed at her words and averted his eyes, "I thought I was quite harsh that day. I should have been gentler with my words."

Madeline shook her head, "No, you said it how it should be said. That was one of the reasons it had such a lasting effect on me. I'm not mad at you. I'm glad you told me."

He let out a relieved sigh.

"But I was wondering, you spoke like you could sort of understand my reluctance about my soul mates. Have you been thinking about yours?" She wondered aloud, glancing at him from her peripheral view.

Lemar took a moment to reply. The atmosphere in the room shifted, highlighting his nerves.

Madeline sensed Lemar was going to tell him something big.

"I—" His voice got caught, cracking at the end. "Oh, god. I don't know why I'm so nervous. You're the first person I'm telling this and whilst I know you won't judge or have anything against it, I'm still nervous as hell."

Madeline didn't say anything but she gave him an encouraging look. She'd let him figure out his words in his own time. She wouldn't push.

"I think Charlie is my soul mate," He announced, loosening a breath once the words were out.

Madeline smiled at him, softly. "That's great news." She might be hesitant about the subject of soul mates but she still wanted her brothers to be happy. They all wanted to meet their soul mates. "You must feel a strong pull towards him to think he's your soul mate. You still have three years until your tattoo appears."

Lemar nodded his head, "I've been battling the idea for a while. I didn't know I liked guys until one day...I saw him in a new light. He's...the person I'm closest to and I want to be with him. But I'm afraid he doesn't feel the same way. We've never talked about soul mates. I think he sees me as his best friend. If I tell him, I'm scared he'll stop being my friend."

Lemar combed his long blonde hair back in stress, afraid of what would happen if he told Charlie his feelings.

"Do you want to be with him now?" She asked.

"Yes, I do."

"Then, you have to take that leap. Otherwise, you'll be stewing in your thoughts, wondering if he does or doesn't. You're a brave person, Lemar. I know you can tell him." She advised.

"So, you're okay with me being gay or bi?" He hesitantly asked after considering her words.

"Of course, you're my little brother. The one who I used to draw with and throw into the pool. You'll always be Lemar. I'm honored you told me first."

Madeline stood up and gave him a tight hug. Despite being three years younger than her, he was a few inches taller than her. He clutched onto the back of her top, physically showing his gratitude to her.

"I love you, little bro. I always will. No matter what." She whispered into his ear, truthfully.

"I love you too, Madi."

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