13 reasons, Why?

LETTER 5: Reaction

HARRY'S POV. 

I sat in my dorm, hugging my knees to my chest. A few hours earlier, McGonagall had informed us of Lyra's untimely death. My heart felt like a jackhammer in my chest. 

It didn't make sense, why do I care? I hate her!

Then a owl as white as Hedwig was flew through my open dorm window. My eyes shine slightly. It was Lyra's owl. As I got closer to it, I could see the sadness in it's eyes, the dullness in it's feathers. I pet it softly, and untie the letter from it's outstretched leg. I open the ivory envelope. 

'If your getting this letter, your god-sister, Lyra Black has commited suicide.'

I freeze, tears in my eyes. Suicide?  I thought she just died... But she killed herself. 

'Weapon: Large kitchen knife

Time: 5: 30am

Body was found in Slytherin common room by Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy.' 

I shake slightly. 

I hate her, I hate her, I hate her. 

I chant in my head, trying to stop the sadness from rising up my throat in the form of bile. My hands shake and squeeze the paper with her words on it, wanting it rip it up, to ignore it. Something makes me read on. 

'Later on, you continued to be rude to me, I didn't do anything to you. That I could remember anyways. You called me names and pushed me as we walked through the hallways. When you told me about Sirius, you looked smug. You looked happy that Sirius couldn't be bothered talking to me.' 

I felt as if I was reading a book. Someone else's story. But this was Lyra's... This is how she felt. 

She is just like the other Slytherins. I hate her.

I try to convince myself, but even I know it's not true. I thought back on my actions, shame filling me. I never meant to hurt her... I really am a horrible person. 

A short boy with messy black hair and green eyes looks at Lyra Black. 

"Black! Your Dad is out of prison.. I'm sure he's already spoken to you?" the boy asks, already knowing the answer. The girl shakes her head.

"No, not yet... He probably doesn't want to risk it" she replies softly, a smile on her face, happy her and Harry were having a civil conversation. A smug smirk lifts up the corner of the boys pink lips. 

"Oh, he's spoken to me... I guess he thought I was worth the effort" he boasts, a smirk on his face. The girl stiffens slightly. Her Dad risked it for Harry, but not her? She closes her eyes for a second, forcing a smile on her face. She could understand, why would anyone risk things for her? 

"That's lovely, Harry" she says, kindly. Harry frowns at her, confused. 

"Yeah, I can't blame him for choosing me over a horrible Slytherin like you." The messy haired boy snarls, before turning and walking away, not noticing the hurt flashing in the taller girl's eyes. 

I snap back into reality as I feel something wet hit my hand. I brush my fingers over my face, to feel tears leaking out my eyes. It was all my fault. How was I supposed to save the wizarding world, when I couldn't even save one person? 

'You lost your Mum and Dad? So did I.' 

I stiffen. 

I never thought of it like that.