Tis the Damn Season | ✓

twenty-three: laurel

"Mo-om," Otto whines, as though he's several years younger than he is. "Switch with me. I don't want to go last."

Sitting opposite Annie and getting to watch her is as good as sitting next to her so I pick up my wine glass and my plate and shuffle around to sit between my children. Hannah rolls five and immediately buys Reading Railroad. Annie's up next: she blows on the dice for good luck before rolling double threes and snaps up Oriental Avenue and her second roll lands her on Connecticut Avenue. In one fell swoop, she has two thirds of the light blue properties.

"Shit," Otto mutters. "The dice like you."

She gives him a broad grin and says, "I'm very likable."

I raise my glass. I should probably have more to eat before I finish my third glass of wine because it's already going to my head. "Cheers to that."

"Ew, Mom."

"Seriously, Otto?" I shake my head at him. "How is that ew? Are you saying Annie isn't likable?"

"No, I'm just ... never mind," he grumbles, rolling the dice into the middle of the board. A three and a one, which lands him on income tax. He grumbles more as he throws two hundred bucks into the center.

"Hey. Don't be a grumpy cat," I say, nudging him with my toe. "No sore losers in this house, okay?" I take the dice off him and laugh when I throw the exact same roll and move my counter to the income tax square, nudging Otto's piece to the edge. "What'll it be? Am I kicking you to jail already, or are you going to stop being immature about the fact that your mom's seeing someone?"

"Sorry," he says, looking away.

"I know your dad's had girlfriends since we split up," I say, holding up the game for a moment when I'm struck by the sudden fear that my son might be uncomfortable with my queerness. "Are you rude to them, too, or is it because we're both women?"

Annie's eyebrows jump up to her hairline. Otto goes bright red.

"No! Mom, no, I'm not homophobic, jeez!" he cries out. His shock at my tentative accusation makes me feel better.

"Otto always says ew," Hannah says. "Even when Dad just talked about going on a date with Cindy last week."

"So you're just being immature?" I ask. He's still beet red as he nods and busies himself with a handful of fries.

"He's jealous," Hannah says with a cheeky grin. She turns to her brother and says, "Stop being mean to Mom just because she can get a girlfriend and you can't!"

"Hey. Don't be a dick, Han," Otto says.

"This is refreshing," Annie says, loading up a chip with guacamole. "Usually it's the game that causes the family arguments."

"We're not arguing," he protests, lifting sheepish eyes to me. "Sorry, Mom. I swear, I'm not homophobic. I don't care that you have a girlfriend. It's just, you know, kinda gross in general when parents date."

"It's not gross, it's nice!" Hannah cries out. "Mom's happy!"

Annie lifts her eyes to mine and gives me a small smile that I return. I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. Instead I take another sip of wine and pass the dice to Hannah.

"I won't send you to jail," I say to Otto, putting my tax money in the middle. I take a vaguely dino-shaped chicken nugget and dunk it in ranch dressing. Something to soak up the wine. "But you have to stop saying ew. It's childish."

"Okay. Sorry, Mom." He glances at Annie. "Sorry, Annie."

She flaps a hand and takes another chip. "No biggie."