Might As Well Be On Mars // Motley Crue

Legal's Never Been My Thing

"Oh. My. God. I can't even...You deal with this." Evie threw her hands up and walked back toward her bunk.

Zutaut considered following her, but stepped into the lounge.

"What's up Electric man," Vince slurred.

"Would you guys mind, uh, keeping it down out here? We're trying to sleep."

Nikki threw another bottle at the marble table, shattering it into hundreds of little pieces. "No." The room burst into laughter.

"Come on guys," Zutaut continued. "You're getting glass all over Mick."

"Look at him!" Nikki gestured to the guitarist. "He doesn't even know."

"Have a drink, Zutaut." Tommy handed him a bottle.

"No, seriously guys. Evie and I are trying to sleep."

"Tell her to get her ass out here," Nikki said. "Join the party."

Ozzy started repeating "party, party, party," and soon all the guys in the room were chanting it. Zutaut gave in, taking a seat in the lounge and saying, "alright, alright. But no more smashing bottles on the table, though. You're gonna break something."

This was met with Vince throwing his bottle and turning up the volume on the stereo playing Van Halen.

Evie was about to scream. All she wanted to do was sleep, but the guys just got louder as the night went on, and evidently, anyone who tried to stop them just got sucked in, too.

She had pulled the pillow over her head by the time Nikki whipped open the door to the bunk area and called her name.

"Eviiiiie! Eviiiie," he slurred.

She groaned and turned to face the curtain, which was soon pulled open.

"What, Nikki?"

"Why are you still back here? Don't you know the party's out there?"

"I don't wanna party, Nikki."

"What!?"

"I just wanna sleep." She looked at him with desperate, tired eyes. He was too drunk to have any sympathy for her, though.

"You can sleep when you're dead."

Next thing she knew, she was out of her bunk and suspended about four feet in the air.

"Nikki!" She objected. "Put me down!" But there was a hint of laughter in her voice.

Nikki ignored her. He carried her bridal style towards the back of the bus. He nearly dropped her when he used one hand to open the door to the back lounge.

"Nikkiii!" She whined. He set her down on the couch, next to the inflatable sex doll with a Hitler mustache that had been in their bus since the beginning of the tour, but that Evie did not know the origin of.

Nikki pushed the doll onto the floor and adjusted Evie until she was laying down on the cushion. He leaned over her and began showering her with kisses. Evie was helpless to do anything but kiss him back.

"Do you know what you did today?" He said between kisses.

"What?"

"You didn't give me a good luck kiss before the show. And I think that's why I fucked up the second chorus of Live Wire."

Evie thought back to earlier that evening. She had gotten to the venue ten minutes late and was in a bit of a rush. "Yeah," she admitted. "But you kissed me right before Red Hot, when I was handing you your red bass. And I think someone in the audience saw us. When you walked away there were these girls glaring at me."