So F*cking Special: 1996 (Book 1, The So F*cking Special Series)

Losing My Religion Part 1

Had I been dating somebody, anyone, I would have thought nothing of it. This was nothing. However, not having a boyfriend just yet might have been a bigger problem than having Adrian on my mind more than I could understand. So? I was so unbelievably busy. I had never had time for a boyfriend. That was it, right?

I immediately thought of the girls at our popular table. Was it them that kept me from having one? Had I not gone out with anybody because they didn't assign anyone to me? Ridiculous. Or was it far worse... no one from my class or the surrounding student body had asked me. Yikes. That one hurt.

I wouldn't say I was naïve or a late bloomer, but in so many ways... I really was. I knew nothing about the mechanics of sex other than you shouldn't have it until you are married according to my grandparents and church. My mother's birds and the bees speech consisted of two sentences. "Sex is a wonderful, beautiful thing shared between two people who are married." Then, when I was fourteen or so, the movie Dirty Dancing, the original with Patrick Swayze and Jennier Grey, came on tv one night and as we neared the ending my mother turned to me and said, "See, she slept with him and now he's leaving."

That was the extent of my sex education, combined with Pure Pines abstinence campaign, which was if you do it, just don't get caught. Most of us knew each other's dating history and the extent of each other's carnal knowledge simply by who you had dated or if you hadn't dated at all yet. But by junior year and age seventeen, it started to get a little fuzzy for some.

We were all well versed in locker room talk. It was quite an education from the upper classmen. That, and you'd have to be blind not to catch someone making out in the parking lot at some point and understand that's not where it ended. Still, I don't know what I would have done on a date or alone in a room with a guy I liked. I was clueless. I don't even think I could say I'd had a proper kiss yet. Not one you could count anyway.

That Friday night was another home game. Lynn and Reagan and I were practically going through withdrawal from each other, so Lynn invited us over to get dressed at her place and talk party prep for Saturday. It was a big deal to figure out how to get to the most coveted underage drinking party that had been scheduled for months. It took true strategy. Luckily, we were Globe Scholars. Having a high IQ comes in handy in these situations. I digress.

Our new uniforms hadn't come in yet, so the slutty Smurfs would ride once again. I still hadn't asked Reagan or Lynn about the one girl on the sideline last week. I guess I would know today if it's something they were keeping from me. The Adrian and Coach Bartlett situation had become the first thing I never told them that year. And, the fact that Coach Dodge was a Peeping Tom, I was absolutely going to talk about, I just hadn't had time to see anyone.

My mom pulled up to Lynn's drive, replaying the weekend's events and wanting to know exactly where I was going to be. She was flying to Salt Lake that night for a convention for work. I was going to miss her this weekend, but it was also easier to pull off the party with her away. She had been told I was spending Saturday night at Reagan's so my grandparents were already debriefed. I couldn't lie to those two if you paid me. I was grateful it was already worked out.

"So, you'll come home to grandma and grandad's from the game tonight, you're at Reagan's on Saturday night... are you all going to work on debate?"

"Mom, can I please focus on one activity at a time. I've got a game tonight. Plus, I'm going to miss you. I wanted to hear more about your work trip plans on the way over here."

"Well, you know they are far less exciting than your stuff."

I meant it when I asked about her, but I couldn't help it, my eyes drifted over to Adrian's house as we pulled up to Lynn's drive. I wasn't worried about bumping into him. It was a Friday night. Minus football, he was probably working at the country club tonight. My mom noticed my distant stare.