Bonded

Chapter 5

We had been in the clearing so long, I could see the light of a new day start to peak over the horizon. I looked at the pack—my pack, my brothers—and allowed myself to feel afraid of the change. I could hear my heart beating hard in my ears. My breath became shorter and I felt a small bead of sweat roll down my face. I lowered my head and took as deep a breath I could. Quil was still rubbing my back as I worked my way through, what I knew was a small panic attack.

I hadn't had one in years. All of my anxiety had been replaced by anger and resentment; this was the first time where I was aware of things that were changing. Not only were they changing, but they were changing because of me. It was beginning to feel like too much, too fast. With Jacob probably still upset with me and having to figure out what caused such a large group of vampires to come to Port Angeles, it all started to crash around me.

"Whoa, Leah, what's wrong?" I heard Quil say next to me.

I took a deep breath through my nose and out of my mouth. "I just got a little overwhelmed for a second." I looked up to see all of the boys looking concerned. "I think that this is a lot for everyone to take in in a couple of hours. Jacob will call an official meeting with the Elders for the day after tomorrow. I think it's time for all of us to head back to the Rez and get some rest." I stood up from the ground, brushing the grass off of my butt. "Are you guys feeling ok?"

"We want to make sure that you're feeling ok," Paul said, his brows furrowed.

I smiled, "I'll be fine! Let's go home, guys."

We all made our way back to the cars. Seth, Colin, and Brady piled into one car. Embry and Quil rode with Paul and Jared so Jake and I could have the Rabbit to ourselves. I sat in the passenger seat with my hands in my lap. He had his left hand resting on the top of the wheel and his right arm resting on the middle consol. It was silent. I wanted so badly to just switch on the radio, but I felt like if I didn't move, he wouldn't say anything. I picked at my thumb nail as I watched the trees zoom by as we drove. Small droplets of rain hit the window and the sun was starting to rise.

"I understand," was all he said. I turned to look at him to find him already looking at me, instead of the road. "You did the right thing; I was just afraid."

"Afraid of what?" I said, quietly.

He raised his arm to run his hand through his head. I took the time to appreciate his flexed biceps. The sleeves of his t-shirt hugged his muscular arms. "It feels like no one actually believes I can be Alpha. And the first time I have to assert myself, it's in this freak occurrence. Seven vamps in one night? I got scared...and I needed you..."

I found myself a little irritated. "Well, you can't just yell at me whenever you feel like it," I said, firmly. "I thought we were a team."

"We are a team!" Jake exclaimed. He sighed. "This whole night just didn't go the way I thought it would..."

He was right. We all wanted a night off and it completely turned to shit. He slid his hand on my bare thigh and I felt myself relax.

"I'm sorry, Lee." Jacob said, squeezing my thigh.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything back, so I just went back to looking out the window. By the time we pulled up to my house, the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. I was still mad at him, but I didn't want him to leave. I still craved his body on mine. Not sex. I just wanted to feel the security of his arms around my body. We both looked at my small, childhood home. Jacob cleared his throat as he put the gear in park. What do you want, Aileah? His thoughts were soft in my head, like a whisper.

"Will you come upstairs with me?" I asked, still looking out of the windshield. We found our way inside and upstairs. I left him in my room as I got myself ready for bed in the bathroom. My makeup was a mess and my hair was slowly becoming a rat's nest on top of my head. As I made my way back into my bedroom, after taking my makeup off, I noticed Jacob making a small palette on the floor. He had stripped himself down to his boxers and was fluffing the pillows he laid on the ground. "What are you doing?"