His light at the end of the tunnel

Chapter 2

I held my gaze and waited for her to laugh at her question but she didn't. Instead, she too held her gaze on me, waiting for my reply. I mean, after all the criticism, I couldn't just believe her even if she's being genuine.

I got up from my desk, avoiding her gaze and head to my usual isolated spot where no one could bother me. As I walked through the hallways, I heard her footsteps behind me and quickened my pace. After a few seconds, I turned around to face Helen and turned my gaze to the floor. Did she find this funny?

"Do I... have something you want?" I asked timidly, my voice only a whisper.

"No! I just want to sit with you during lunch," she replied, giving me a soft smile right after.

...If this is some kind of joke, then it isn't funny. Didn't she hear bad rumours about me in class? Mumbling gibberish underneath my breath, I kept my head low, my eyes darting everywhere on the floor. Hopelessness filled me as I sat at a bench at the back of the school and ate my supposed lunch. This time, it's a burger. It's something I rarely ate but only did when some dishes ran out in the school cafeteria since I normally bought meals a day before to avoid the crowd and the criticism of others.

I took a quick glance at Helen who was happily eating her pasta on a lunch tray beside me. The leaves of the tree beside us didn't fully block the sun's rays. The light lit Helen's features, almost like she was glowing. I had to stop staring at her but finally understood why some students were gawking at her.

I ate my food quietly, but I could feel her stare at me.

"What's up?" she asked, still eating her meal.

"...There's nothing I have that you will possibly want so... can you please leave me alone?" I asked eagerly. She gave me a confused look and placed her food on the empty part of the bench, crossing her legs.

"I don't want anything from you," Helen reassured. "We can even sit in silence if that's what you want."

It took me about ten seconds to comprehend what she had said and when I did, I opened my mouth in shock. I got up from my seat and walked around the school to find another spot to eat. I was imagining things, since I wasn't worth the time.

"I'm not forcing you. If you don't want to, you can just say so," she announced, her voice full of sincerity.

I did want to join her but what if she stabbed me in the back? What if she's secretly mocking me? There were so many possibilities that she wasn't doing this just because she wanted to sit with me.

My mouth opened slightly after hearing what she had said. But when I did think about it, she seemed serious. However, a question arises, why did she even want to be with me? She's definitely using me for whatever purpose she has, but I can't seem to know what it is-

"Hey! Are you okay?" Helen asked which brought me back to reality. Honestly, when I looked at her, all I could see was thousands of glass walls standing together in a row and even by just looking at them, I knew it would never be possible to get to the end. Ever.

My fingers passed through my messed up hair as a sigh escaped my lips. "Fine," I said, giving in. Her eyes beamed with delight and a smile rose on her face.

"That's great!" she exclaimed and tailed behind me as I went back to my isolated spot. We sat down on the bench and resumed eating our meals. I had accepted her request but I wouldn't let my guard down so easily. I just couldn't trust her.

•••

I kept thinking about what Helen had requested after class had ended and even when I headed home. Why had she even asked that? I got so lost in thought that I didn't hear someone call my name.

"Eric!" Before I could even turn around, someone wrapped their arm around my shoulder and I swore I've heard that voice before.

"It's me, Helen!" she reminded me, not seeming to have lost energy from all the boring lectures. She slowed down her pace to walk beside me, as she looked at me with a bright smile on her face. "Where are you headed to?"

"...My apartment," I responded. She answered with a nod and we made our way to our places. After that little interaction, we walked in silence and I was quite glad she realised I didn't want to be involved in a conversation. A while later, I reached my apartment and took out my keys to see Helen right beside me.

Did she follow me to my place just to make fun of me? It's honestly a bit too far, worse than what the others have done but she really didn't have to do tha-

"Wait... we're neighbours?!" she asked excitedly which just stopped my exaggerated thoughts.

"Oh..." I muttered. I stared at my front door so hard that if I had lasers in my eyes, there would be a hole right through it. Fiddling with my hair, my hand still held onto my key and all I could do was just stand there.

"Oh and um... if you need someone to talk to, I'm next door," Helen informed before quickly rushing into her apartment.

I stood there, speechless by her sudden exit but quickly recovered and entered my house. I decided on doing my usual routine, remembering that the corner of my lips almost rose after hearing her words. It might have never even happened in the first place so I shoved the memory deep down somewhere in my brain. Something like that wasn't worth overthinking.

When I was done doing it, I headed to bed, but for some reason, I seemed to be in a good mood. I fell asleep that night, but this time with less stress which was hard to come by.

                                        •••

I woke up the next morning to hear my doorbell ringing. It was a weekend and I wasn't expecting any visitors or such. I got off my bed, still half asleep and opened the door hesitantly.

"Good morning!" she greeted, causing me to almost jump in fright. I wasn't expecting her to knock on my door early in the morning or to even come to my apartment at all. I struggled to rub my eyelids but she was somehow full of energy.

"Would you like to try my cookies?" she asked, which brought me back from my train of thoughts. I looked at her hand which was stretched out to me, holding a tray of freshly baked cookies. Normally I would've ignored requests like that but for some reason, I couldn't seem to give an instant 'no' for an answer.

"I made it this morning and I thought: why don't I make some for you and our neighbours?" she explained, fiddling with the rim of the tray in her hand.

What if there's poison in there? Or something that could upset my stomach? After five seconds of rambling about what could be in the cookies, I finally made a decision.

"Fine," I concluded, grabbing a cookie from her tray. A smile emerged on her face and she thanked me happily before leaving for the other apartments. Feeling tired, I closed the door with a bit more force than intended.

I took a bite from the cookie, a shocked expression on my face. "It's... a normal cookie," I mumbled to myself and took several other bites. It was a nicely made chocolate chip cookie, the taste reminding me of the days when I was younger. I didn't remember the last time I ate cookies or anything sugary. Was it in my childhood? My preteen years? Whenever it was, I didn't remember it tasting this good.

I leaned back against my front door and savored the cookie. After finishing it, I sighed and went to do my usual routine but instead, the routine was in the morning. But as I did it, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Did she have some ulterior motive? I didn't know whether she was something bad or good in my life but there was a difference between us. She had this... energetic and happy energy around her which is something I didn't have or used to have. For me, I was only a pit of darkness, hoping that I could have a light in my world. I didn't deserve anything, nothing at all but somehow, I wish that Helen could mean something to me. Could be a friend to me. Having a friend would be nice. It would really be.

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