Highway to Heaven 🔞

7. 쇼핑

"Is it looking good?" Asked Hao, once again, lifting his hands up, and checking his own body.

"Absolutely." Hanbin answered, he didn't know why, his hands went to both sides of Hao's waist, startling the man, "You look perfect."

"Oh... Thanks." Hao smiled weirdly. The place Hanbin's hands were on suddenly burned, Hao felt his heart do a tiny somersault. For a while, Hanbin couldn't move, but then he got a reality check as the store lady coughed to get their attention. He took his hands away in a blink, looking away out of embarrassment. Hao was the same, he suddenly felt too interested in his fingernails.

"So... Are you taking that?" Hanbin asked to clear off the awkwardness.

"Yeah, since you liked it." Hao answered, making the younger smile. They took the top for billing, paid and then walked out with the product.

"Aah, now I feel burden free." Hao said, "Thanks, Hanbin."

"Anytime." The other said, "By the way, are you up for a meal? My treat."

"Sure, but why your treat?" Asked the Chinese guy.

"No reason." Hanbin shrugged, "Just to cheer you up for your play."

"Oh really?" Laughed Hao, "Alright, if you want so."

Happy, Hanbin immediately took Hao's hand. It came so naturally. They weren't a thing, heck, they only met for like, two times. And both were for a good fuck, so it was really, really weird. At least to Hao, who thought these little actions take place only if feelings are involved. He couldn't shake off the thought of Hanbin actually having something for him. It was too fast, too stupid, he knew it, but his heart did not listen to his brain. With his hand held strongly in the younger's grip, he kept thinking how it would feel like if they were together, if they were actually on a shopping plus dinner date, if he actually got to play for Hanbin and-

He should stop. For his own good.

-

Hanbin returned to his room at around 9. His roommate opened up, wearing a comfy, homely hoodie and shorts.

"You're back? I thought you're gone for the night."

"Nah, Hao hyung has violin practice." Said Hanbin, walking inside.

"Now? It's kinda late." Matthew said, checking the time.

"Yeah." Shrugged Hanbin, maybe out of exhaustion, he sounded a little off.

"Aww are you upset, hyung?" Matthew teased his roommate, "That you can't spend the night with Hao hyung? Hm?"

Hanbin shook his head in dismissal. But the younger still went on, "What is it, hyung?? I never thought you're getting serious about someone so fast?"

"I'm not." Hanbin chuckled, "I just like hanging out with him. He's cool."

"Is this a sign?" Matthew wiggled his eyebrows.

"You're thinking too much." Hanbin said, "What about you though?"

"Me? I'm cool." Matthew shortly replied. There was a tiny hint of dimming of his usual brightness. Since Hanbin knew him for so long, he understood.

"Are you sure?" Hanbin frowned.

"Yeah! Why not?" Matthew said smiling, but his smile was half hearted. So his hyung took both of his hands, giving him the confirmation to talk, "What is it, Seokmae? Did something happen? Is everything fine with you and... Jiwoong hyung?"

"Everything's fine." Matthew looked down, "In fact finer than ever, you know, Jiwooie hyung got the role and he's gone to attend a meeting and the shooting would start next week, so-"

Hanbin squeezed his friend's hands, saying, "You're upset cause he won't be able to spend time with you as much as before?"

"No, I'm... I'll be a bad person if I think about it right now." Matthew tried to smile it away, "This is his dream, hyung. How can I-"

"Matthew," Hanbin called him with a tone of sincerity, "If you feel sad because you're going to miss him, it doesn't make you a bad person. It's your emotion, you have every right to feel bad. What's important is to support him despite everything, hm? And I'm sure you're doing that, right?"

"Yeah." Matthew's eyes were glittery, but he looked confident, "I'm not gonna make him feel burdened because of my feelings."

"He'll not feel burdened dummy. He knows you, right?" Hanbin pulled his friend for a hug, "Tell him how you feel once the time is right, okay? If you hide it from him, it's gonna take a bad turn in future."

"Hm..." Matthew spoke, being basked in the warmth of his best friend's embrace.

"How about it, we can watch a movie tonight!" Hanbin said, "That'll cheer you up, right? Then after the meeting's over, Jiwoong hyung will call you for sure."

"You just came home, you must be tired." Matthew said, "Don't worry about me, hyung. I'm not a crybaby."

"Eyy, come on! Watching a movie won't hurt!" Hanbin insisted, "Besides, I can fall asleep if I feel tired." Matthew blinked multiple times, looking at his hyung. Seriously, Hanbin was always kind and considerate towards him. He felt lucky to be living with such a thoughtful and caring man.

"Alright, go take a shower then, I'll see what we have to snack on." Matthew said. Hanbin gave him a warm smile before going in his room. The younger left a sigh. He couldn't help feeling the longing, but that shouldn't affect Jiwoong's career. For that, if he needed to tie his emotions in a tight knot, he would. He would never be able to live with himself, if for his irresponsible, unmasked, uncontrolled emotions, his boyfriend's dream gets ruined. Therefore, he decided not to listen to Hanbin. He would never speak about his heart to Jiwoong, in fear that it would burden him and affect his work.

However, he had plenty of people to help him cope with it, for one, his Hanbin hyung, who came in cozy clothes and sat next to him on the couch, accompanying him throughout a whole movie session with popcorns, chips and cola. He felt a lot less lonely, and his heart felt at ease. Although Hanbin fell asleep at the very end, Matthew appreciated his effort. And also, at the very end of the movie, Jiwoong sent him a text, taking everything off his chest as he immediately facetimed his lover, ready to listen to how his day had been.

Matthew realized, he should learn to accept the distance and aloofness, because clearly, Jiwoong would get busier as days passed. Cons of dating someone dreaming to be famous.

-

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