His Mafia Queen

Lost Without You

RILEY

The weight of what we're about to do hits me. I'm turned on and wet and so ready to have an orgasm from something other than my vibrator.

I pause, staring into his impossibly black eyes, eyes that I can easily lose myself in. His cock is hard and throbbing, poised just inches from my pussy and ready to slide in.

"You're not sure."

His words are a statement, not a question. I sit up, against the padded gray leather headboard.

"I'm always sure when I give myself to you, Gabriel. I always want you. Always."

He eases off me and I pull the duvet up so I'm no longer naked and vulnerable, trembling under his intense gaze.

"I feel the same about you. Obviously." His tone isn't angry. It's soft and gentle, making everything inside me melt.

"There's nothing more that I want than us together. In every way. As friends. As lovers. Partners. But right now, after everything that's happened? I'm not sure it's the best idea. At least not tonight."

Gabriel stares at me for a few long seconds. His beautiful, naked body tempts me, but I must remain strong. Welcoming him back into my bed is exactly what I want — and exactly how I've been handling my relationship with him.

Fuck, fight, make up. Wash, rinse, repeat. It's got to stop.

"For us to do this again, to go forward and be a couple again, we have to approach things differently. Maybe we don't solve every problem in bed."

I half expect him to storm out. Or say something snarky or harsh. I expect his expression to grow dark, to try to kiss me into submission.

"Unless all you wanted was to come here and fuck me," I say. It's slightly mean, but I need to know.

I brace for impact. But what he does next stuns me.

He slowly stretches out, resting his head in my lap. Surrender. It can't be easy for him, and yet, he's done it again and again for me. 

"Oh, Riley. You're wise beyond your years. You're right, you know."

I gently run my fingers through his soft hair. The intimacy of this moment makes my heart swell three sizes.

"You're right," he says again softly. "I didn't come here just to have sex with you. I came here because...because I'm in love with you. These weeks apart have been absolute, fucking torture. I thought about you constantly, regretted my decision every damn day. My life's been complicated lately with the return of my father... and throughout it all, I realize I'm lost without you."

His raw confession makes me suck in a sharp breath.

"I thought about you all the time too," I confess. "I was so hurt when you ended things. I didn't understand why."

Gabriel turns his head to look up at me and I trace his eyebrow with my index finger. "I was scared. Scared that I'd drag you too far into my world. A world that could put you in danger, or make you resent me in time. Worried that you'd meet my father and think I'll eventually become him"

The disgusted look on his face spoke volumes.

I nod slowly, acknowledging the truth of his words. His lifestyle is complicated, to put it mildly.

"But being without you made me realize that I'd rather face those risks than lose you entirely," he continues. "I know I have no right to ask anything of you after the way I behaved. But if there's any chance you could forgive me, any chance we could try again...?"