Sabine furrows her brows. "No it's not"

"Girls, go fight somewhere else" Jasmine starts. "Y/N, can you try walking?"

I nod. I carefully walk around, not forcing my legs too much. I must say that I didn't think I would be so lightheaded, but I am. I walk towards Tsireya and Aonung.

When I'm almost standing in front of them, I trip over one of my feet. Luckily, Aonung catches me on time.

"Well hello to you too" He laughs.

I laugh too. "I've missed you, brother"

"I've missed you too, sister"

We both give eachother a hug. Then, I turn to Tsireya.

"REYA!" I scream and smile.

She smiles aswell. "Y/N!"

I also give her a tight hug.

"I can't believe you're back!" She says. "We've all been so worried!"

I break the hug and look at her. "I also can't believe it!"

"You have to tell us everything that happened" Aonung says.

The smile on my face disappears quickly. "Uhm, well.."

"Aonung, go get some food for Y/N. She must be starving" Ronal comes in, noticing my discomfort.

He furrows his brows first, but then he just nods and walks away.

Tsireya is now staring at me with her cute, big eyes full of worry. "What happened?" She lowly asks.

"I'll tell you everything tonight, okay?"

She nods.

Ronal puts her hand on my shoulder. "Come on, let's eat"

***

"I'm so sorry Reya" I whisper, while I hug my best friend really tight. It's after eclipse and we're sitting in our tent. Ronal is discussing something with one of the people from the clan, so she isn't here.

Tsireya's crying, because I just told her everything that happened the last few weeks.

"I just" She starts. "I just can't imagine the pain you guys went through. Especially you.."

"I know.. I don't even know how to cope with it myself"

We break the hug and just look at eachother. Her big, red and puffy eyes pierce through mine. I'm still adjusting to the fact that we have the same height now.

I look at Aonung, who is sitting beside us. He's been quiet for the whole time.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. He's staring at the ground.

"I don't know what to say.."

I nod. "I totally get that. Just know that I love you and that you can always talk to me or ask me anything, okay?"

He just nods.

"Does Ronal already know it?" I ask Tsireya.

"Yes, one of the girls told her. I've never seen her cry that much since father died.."

I sigh. "I feel so bad.. I finally come back here, but with this fucked up story, while you guys are still mourning about Tonowari.."

Tsireya shakes her head. "Don't think like that. Father's death has been traumatic to all of us. You had to go through Hell and didn't even had the time to mourn about him"

I shrug my shoulders. "I guess that's true"

"What you've been through has also been traumatic as fuck, so don't ever think you're selfish for some reason"

I laugh a little, so does Aonung.

Tsireya furrows her brows. "What?"

"We've never heard you curse before" I say.

"Oh" She smiles.

"Y/N" Ronal comes in, while walking into our tent.

The three of us turn around and look at her.

"Come"

We stand up and walk to her.

"There is something we have to tell you"

She turns around and starts walking towards the beach. The village is light up, like it always is when it's dark. I'm really nervous, because everyone has been very mysterious about what happened.

When we arrive there, I see the girls sitting in the sand, next to Neteyam and his parents. I don't see Kiri, Lo'ak and Tuk so I think that they're still in their tent.

"Y/N! Danique waves, indicating that I should sit next to her.

I smile and do so. When we all sit down, I look at the group.

Jasmine takes a deep breath. "There is something we have to share with you" She starts. "And it's not something you're gonna like.."

***

I'm sitting alone in my secret cave. I know the last time I sat here didn't end well, but I don't care. I had to get out of there.

My head is spinning, my eyes are aching from all the crying. I'm shaking from all the sadness and anger I feel. I knew something was wrong when I woke up this morning, but this..

I can't fucking believe it. Everything I have, everything I am is gone..

And I didn't even had a say in it.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Jasmine, Tsireya and Neteyam tried to calm me down, but I can't.

I just fucking can't.

It's not fair. Everything is not fair. I wanna understand it, I really do. But I can't.

They took everything from me.

And I'm never gonna get it back..

***

Pfftt..

It's all gonna make sense, I promise:)

I love you guys,

Jasmijn<3

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