Chp 1: Heartache

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Seems the crimson seeping from the scars on his back has stopped. His inner robes reflected the dim, warm lights from outside. These white robes were left with crimson-colored stains.
There were scars. In length was long. To describe it further is one word, painful.



On his bed, he leaned on the wall. No, he was not tired. No, he was not angry. He didn't regret anything. He was just sad. His heart ached, and he felt cold.



This man was sad, but he had kept on that stoic expression on his porcelain face that he had for years now. He could feel the presence of a person nearby. But he ignored it. That silhouette grew closer. And he did not care. He knew who was behind the door and the face of that shadow.



Knock. Knock. "Wangji, it's me." He had spoken in a low and gentle tone. In this voice, mixed was guilt, and the awareness of the heartache the news he carried would give his brother.



The door of the Jingshi clicked, and Lan Xichen entered. Closing the door behind him gently as if had the light hands of a woman. He looked at his brother, a sad expression roamed his face, as he saw how hurt and pitiful his younger looked.



The Sect Leader sat on the stool near the bedside of Lan Wangji's bed. Seeming hesitant to break the news to his younger brother, who looked like he was hurting. It was unlikely for his brother to be disobedient. What in the world happened to you? The sudden change of heart was new to him.



He stole another glimpse at his brother, who didn't even spare him a glance. Lan Wangji was occupied, staring at the wall in front of him. Lan Xichen's eyes fell to the floor before he closed them, then he took a deep breath.



Before finally speaking, "Wangji, Wei - Gongzi..." Lan Wangji turned his head as soon as he heard the name mentioned by his brother. He didn't utter a word, but Lan Xichen read the expression he had, What about him? He looked back down and started speaking once again.



"Wangji, I'm sorry. He's gone--" Lan Xichen was wearing a calm solemn expression, knowing that his brother would be sad, but he surely didn't expect his brother to cut him off, saying, "No."



Silence filled the room. Lan Wangji leaned back at the wall, staring again in front of him and not looking at Lan Xichen.



He once again spoke, "His suffering has ended Wangji, don't be selfish.." Lan Xichen looked at Lan Wangji. He was shaking. His stoic face started twitching. And he said. "Get out."



Lan Xichen was surprised. He was in denial that his brother just told him to leave, and in such a cold way and tone that Lan Wangji would have never dared to speak in.



In the past, Lan Xichen just somehow knew what his brother had wanted and what he needed. But this was not what he expected. He did not want to leave Lan Wangji at this moment.



"Wangji.." He leaned closer to comfort his brother, but the next second was pushed down and landed on the floor. The stool he sat on, then followed. Shocked, he stuttered, "Wangji?"



Lan Wangji was shaking, as he stood silently. Lan Xichen wanted to know what his intentions were, but he couldn't seem to view his face properly.



Frustrated, he squinted his eyes and tried to look at Lan Wangji's expression until, he felt reality hit him. A flash of disbelief struck him, he never could have imagined hearing from Lan Wangji, sobs.



Lan Wangji proceeded to melt on the floor. He had both his hands clenched together on top of both his knees. Lan Xichen was dumbfounded and looked at him intensely.



The bright moon shone at Lan Wangji's face, but no matter how bright the moon was, there was nothing, not even a single spark left from his golden-colored eyes. It was so bright, yet so dull.




He could now see it visibly, tears rolling down the boy's face as he shook his head uncontrollably. Lan Xichen felt something tingling inside his chest.



His brother sobbed. And started to cry. He rubbed off all the tears falling from his eyes with both his hands. But it just wouldn't stop.



Lan Xichen panicked and scurried to his brother's side. "It's okay.." he said, trying to comfort his beloved. But once again. He was unexpectedly pushed away. It wasn't as hard as earlier, but it did get Lan Xichen to stop. 



"Go away!" Lan Wangji raised his voice. It was new to Lan Xichen. "Wangji, what's wrong?" He asked concerned.



Lan Wangji turned his face to his brother, Lan Xichen only had tried to comfort him, but despite how much he tried. His brother wore a face of disgust, and... hatred. As if he knew the true feelings of Lan Xichen, his true intentions that he thought he hid well enough. 



Did Lan Xichen really feel sad about Wei Wuxian's death and want to accompany him in grieving?



"I said, get out...! Wei Ying's gone! Go away, leave me!" He glared at his senior, his one and only brother, with eyes full of hatred. 



Lan Xichen couldn't get used to this indifference his brother was suddenly giving. Why are you being like this?! I can't understand you! He then realized. What thoughts. He could no longer understand his brother. 



Not like he used to. What? Did you really think you were the person he trusted most? Look at him, look at how he glares at you. Pathetic. You failed. Lan Xichen's inner voice spoke, belittling him, saying he failed as a brother. Which he did.


His heart ached.




"Wangji, this Sect Leader is leaving..." Lan Xichen closed the door. Leaving Lan Wangji, in the Jingshi. He was not alone. Beside him a jar, and a metal bar...


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Chapter 2 : November 13, 2023


//Grammatical Errors Edited//

End notes: Hope you liked the first chapter. Thanks for the support on my first fanfic ♡.

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