Heart to heart

Eight

"It's okay," she responded, in that tiny little voice that made another smile rise on my face. I didn't think I had ever seen her this timid. She was the first to stand on a table, encouraging others to join her. Ridiculous did not exist in her world. She was bold and fearful, I admired her. She reminded me of Juliette. The both of them would have gotten along. I was pretty sure if Cora had been our age, they would have been best friends.

"I'm almost done." As I sat there and listened to the quiet of the night, my eyes closed. Having a fresh breeze blowing through my hair made me feel alive. It used to be Matthew's favorite, too. When we were younger, every summer would be filled with tubing, paddle boarding, and most importantly, stargazing. Sometimes it was so cold to go outside and he pretended not to notice, just so I would suck it up and follow him.

I liked to say that Juliette showed me how to appreciate the sky. She was the one who pulled me outside when we were in the middle of binging a series on Netflix so we could closely inspect it together. Later on, she admitted the idea came not from her but from Matthew. She didn't know him personally.

We had been neighbors since we were young and she admitted that she had a crush on him, before the accident. She said she always saw him lying on the ground at night and wondered what it was like. So really, he was the one who brought that discovery into my life.

Guilt bit at me, all the time. There was a moment where it was too much. I couldn't breathe, my lungs were crushed and barely an ounce of air could make it in. Camila watched and she told my father. I begged her not to and she ignored me. She said she was doing it for me, that it was the thing to do.

I hugged my knees close to my chest as I sat in my room and listened to them. As I expected, my father was not happy. Their conclusion of the events was that I needed to see a therapist. A shrink had never been something I considered. Talking worked for a lot of people, it was nice to talk. I didn't deny it.

It was only after one session that I implored my parents to never take me there again. They didn't fight me. The fun fact was that they didn't ask questions and they believed when I said I didn't need it. The truth was that I probably did need it. The nightmares had become more frequent and the bad thoughts took over a lot. Besides that though, everything was fine.

I handled things on my own, I didn't need help. I was okay. It had been two years, and moving on had not been simple. It was quite the opposite. But I was here, healthy and alive. While I could blame myself all I wanted, it was easier to ignore it. Take advantage of the present and forget about the past. Life was too short to dwell on things that didn't last. Still, I was good at doing that.

"Hey," Callum said, snapping me out of my thoughts. He sat down in the chair next to mine as his sister rushed to sit on his lap. Her braids weren't completed, half of her hair was still loose. She didn't seem to care or notice. See? There was no such word as ridiculous in her vocabulary.

"Hi." I started to get up, but then I sat back down. It was time for me to let go of Matthew, of Ben, of what had happened. I could keep my guard up, or so I thought I could. Callum wouldn't solve all my problems, but he could help me have a good time. Right?

"You okay?" He asked, finishing the braids I had started for his sister. My eyes widened and a giggle erupted from me. Callum Walker knew how to braid hair? Well, as I said before, I didn't know him as much as I thought I did. He was full of little surprises.

"Sorry. Yeah, I am fine. Where did you learn how to braid hair?" A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"Why? You want me to braid yours?" I inched closer to him, observing his work. I hummed in satisfaction, he wasn't half bad.