Back To You

Chapter 15

Life was tough. Everybody saw you weren't doing well but from the moment you smelled Tom in the love potion, you got even worse. You couldn't sleep, you lost your appetite and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't focus on anything you were doing. You were unable to listen in classes and complete your homework and that resulted in you getting bad grades and spending all your time in detention. Your friends helped you with schoolwork and that was the only thing keeping you from failing. You felt depressed, sad, helpless and most of all angry. You were mad because you tried so hard to get over Tom but it was no use. You were also annoyed with the potion thing because every time you remembered it, you couldn't overlook the fact that your connection with Tom was real. And as if it wasn't enough, you had a strange feeling that Tom was following you. You kept seeing him out of the corner of your eye. He was everywhere you went, watching you closely and every time you met his gaze, your heart broke a little more. It reminded you of how it was at the beginning but this time it was you, not him who was trying to get away from those feelings.
You were sitting in the Great Hall with your head resting on the palm of your hand, forcing yourself to eat at least something small. You looked down at your plate and then to your left and of course, Tom was sitting there and staring. Suddenly you heard your name as if it was being called from the distance.
P: "Y/n? Hey! Y/n!"
You turned around and saw Pansy sitting next to you, snapping her fingers in front of your face.
P: "It was about bloody time. I've been trying to get your attention for five whole minutes now. Didn't you hear? I was literally screaming into your ear."
All of your friends waited for you to say something with concerned faces.
Y/n: "Sorry...I got lost in my thoughts once again."
P: "I was asking you if you're going to the party."
Y/n: "What party?"
Pansy rolled her eyes.
P: "The Slytherin party? Tonight?"
Y/n: "Oh...yes. Yes! Of course I'm going!"
D: "Look! She remembered!"
T: "Are you gonna get pissed, Y/n? Because me and Mattheo surely are."
Y/n: "Yeah, no doubt about that."
You made yourself eat the dinner since you were planning on getting drunk and then went to your dorm. You took a shower, got dressed up and did your hair and makeup. When you entered the Slytherin common room, the party was already in full flow. Everyone was dancing around, talking and drinking. The green flashing lights were nearly blinding, making you feel uneasy. It took you a minute to find your friends but once you did, you felt safe again. Theo stuffed a drink into your hand and you chugged it. You noticed Mattheo couldn't take his eyes off you. You drank another one, took Pansy's hand and pulled her to the dancing floor. You danced until you were breathless, then poured yourself another drink, drank it and then headed to the dance floor once again. You repeated that cycle many times. At some point you noticed Theo's hands all over your body but you were both drunk so what did it matter. You looked around the room. Pansy and Draco were nowhere to be found.
T: "Are you looking for Pansy and Draco? They left like twenty minutes ago. They're probably shagging."
You saw Mattheo sitting on the sofa, drinking from his cup and giving you and Theo a death stare. His jealousy was evident but he wasn't the only one watching you so closely. In the corner of the room, in his favourite armchair, was Tom, sitting and clutching a wand in his hand. You could see how clenched his jaw was even from the distance. You knew him too well. Your patience was wearing thin.
Y/n: "Fuck it."
You used a moment when Mattheo's back was turned to you when he was pouring himself a drink and stormed out of the common room so he wouldn't follow you. You quickly headed into an empty corridor and leaned your back against the wall while trying to catch your breath and calm down. Tom stepped out from round the corner, took both of your hands into his and pulled you close to him. One of his hands gripped your waist and the other one moved to your face. He started caressing your cheek gently with his thumb. You closed your eyes and let him touch you. Even one minute with him was worth it and you couldn't resist the need anymore.
T: "We were so good together, Y/n..."
His voice was soft and caring. He was trying to manipulate you again. You knew the effect this had on you. You were aware of the risks but you wanted to enjoy it for at least few seconds more.
T: "Why did you have to destroy it..."
In that moment you opened your eyes and woke up from the trance. Those words cut like a knife. You pulled away and looked at him desperately. Your heart was still racing because of his touch.
Y/n: "Look what you did to me...I can't do this. If you truly care about me you will let me go. I can't stand this pain, Tom. I can't stand looking at you and not feeling your hands on my skin. Don't you understand?"
His brows furrowed as he was listening to what you were saying. You turned the corner and walked away. When you entered the party again, the first thing you saw was Mattheo sitting all alone on a sofa. He looked up at you across the room, you looked at him and it was all clear. He came to you, took your hand and you followed him to his dorm without a word. When he closed and locked the door you both stood there, waiting for one of you to make the first step. Mattheo placed his hands on your hips and started kissing your neck meanwhile pushing you closer to the bed. He sat you down. He kneeled down in front of you and placed his hands on your knees. He slowly slid them up your thighs while looking into your eyes. He lifted up your dress and suddenly his thumbs were on your hips, playing with your underwear.
M: "Can I...?"
You couldn't let out a word. Your mind was racing because you knew this wasn't right, but the desire to have him was too strong. He felt like a cure. He felt like the answer to your problems. You nodded. He took off your underwear and looked at you once again as if asking for your approval. Then he lifted up your leg and his lips touched you. You lied back on the bed and took a deep breath. You knew immediately that this was about to get really good. You heard Mattheo's little noises as he was enjoying you. You moaned. It took only few seconds and your whole body was trembling with ecstasy. He was watching you astonishingly. Once he was done with it, he got up and took off his clothes. You noticed many scars on his body but didn't want to point them out. You could see it in his eyes how eager he was to feel more of you. And you couldn't agree more. He sat down on the bed next to you and unzipped your dress. He undressed you and got on top of you.
M: "Y/n, are you sure about this? We were both drinking and I don't want you to feel like this was a mistake when you wake up tomorrow."
Y/n: "No, Mattheo. I really...really want this. You know I like you."
His hand reached to a drawer in the bedside table and pulled out a condom. He swiftly opened it with his teeth and put it on. His body was so warm. He pulled you close and stroked your cheek and then...your bodies connected. His dark curls were falling into his eyes as he started moving...slowly and carefully. He kept quickening and you couldn't believe how good it felt. You got so lost in the moment and realised you have never enjoyed yourself this much. And then when you thought it couldn't get better, he just kept moving more and more faster. His little noises were the most incredible thing you've ever heard. You couldn't help but sink your nails into his back. You scratched him and he enjoyed it. When it was over, he held you in his arms.
M: "Are you okay, Y/n? You are trembling...Did you like it so much?" He said playfully.
You just smiled at him. He caressed your body, making sure you were okay. You then decided to go to the bathroom. You got out of the bed and groaned.
M: "What's wrong? Do you want me to carry you?" He laughed.
Y/n: "No, it's alright."
You stumbled.
Y/n: "Fuck!"
You heard Mattheo laughing as you were closing the bathroom door. He seemed proud of himself and amused by this. When you headed back to bed, he watched you closely.
M: "You walk comically"
Y/n: "Just keep on laughing."
M: "No need to thank me for this"
Y/n: "Yeah, cheers, Mattheo"
You fell into his arms and he pulled you close to him once again.
Y/n: "You completely destroyed me, you know that?"
M: "And you destroyed my back. Look!"
He showed you the scratches.
M: "As if I haven't had enough of scars already."
You looked at him worriedly.
Y/n: "I noticed...Are those what I think they are?"
M: "Yeah...father..."
Y/n: "I'm so sorry Mattheo..."
M: "It's fine. Tom's back looks so much worse. Father wanted to 'make us stronger', you know? Seems it worked out only in Tom's case."
Hearing his name made you sad again and Mattheo noticed.
M: "Y/n, you have me now. I won't hurt you, alright?"
Y/n: "Alright." You replied and drifted off to sleep.