IN RUINS- James Potter

chapter seventy eight

"Aren't you going to apologize? Their plan failed and they manipulated you to manipulate me." Sirius told her, not understanding the situation still.

"Have you learned nothing? What I said at the potters was true. They don't care about you Sirius, they are done with you, don't say I'm the same because I'm the only true sibling you have in your fantasy land."  Nora snapped, keeping her voice tame and calm, holding back the yelling she wanted to do towards him.

Sirius scoffed, afraid to speak when he saw the look in Nora's eyes; anger and nothing else. There were many eyes for Nora end Sirius to have this conversation, but as the days went by of him acting as if everything was about him, Nora was losing patience, and she's never felt like that before.

"He may have been a shit father, but he's still dying, you don't have to care, but just don't make it about yourself anymore." Nora told him, shaking her head in disappointment, excusing herself as she caught up to Atticus, shaking her head.

"Don't you think you were a little harsh?" Atticus asked, holding off to not cause more trouble. "He's been a dick my whole life, it's time I become one too. It's one thing to say he doesn't care, but it's another to make some weird assumptions that everything we do is about him. Mother rather die than speak about Sirius."

Sighing as they made their way to history of magic, Nora just wished she told Sirius what she said after this class, not realizing they also have it, sitting near the front to ignore any stares.

Atticus chose to not say anything, hanging back a little and tie his shoe, waiting for Sirius to come, standing up as Peter smiled at him. "Sirius I—"

"What could you possibly say that will make this situation better? You're her best friend so why are you talking to me. That's like James talking to her." Clearing his throat abs shaking his head, Atticus sighed, trying to find the right words to say this, hoping he doesn't word vomit.

"Nora doesn't have the friends you do, her only friend is me, and even then I'm not enough for her. She doesn't know what being loved is, fuck, I don't know what love is. But I've seen the way she's always there for you and regulus, but now it's time you be there for her. You're her twin for Merlin's sake, now act like it."

Hesitating to poke his finger in Sirius' chest, it felt like Sirius and Nora both have people fill in the position of a sibling, for sirius, it's James, and for Nora; it's Atticus. No matter how much they want to fix their relationship, Sirius began to fear it's deeper than he ever imagined, taking a moment to realize.

Nora listened to Atticus' advice for all of ten minutes, sitting at the top of the astronomy tower and looking down, letting the cold air hit her cheeks, needing it to knock some sense into her. She hates this feeling, mad all the time, looking over her shoulder, picking the battles she chooses; it was exhausting.

She doesn't know what to do with herself, feeling like she was a record stuck on repeat with these emotions, being controlled as if you were a puppet. Her heartbeat was always going 100 miles per minute, never having a moment to slow down.

Being back at Hogwarts seemed harder than it should've been, this past summer wasn't her favourite and she wouldn't deny it, needing a minute to focus on the fact she has a task to fulfill and she doesn't even know how to start. She looked down from the astronomy tower, gulping a little as she continue to let the fresh breeze hit her, needing some time to think.

Hearing something creak, Nora turned to see Lily Evans, grimacing when she saw someone, awkwardly laughing. "Oh, sorry Nora, I can come back." She stammered, Nora waving it off.

"No it's fine Evans, there's room for two." She told the girl, moving over for them to watch the sun set into the clouds, watching the red soon turn into orange over the sky. "How was your summer?" Evans asked, trying to create conversation.

"Was shit, how was yours?"

"Yeah same, I'm assuming you and Sirius are still not talking to one another?" The red head guessed, answering correctly. "You heard about our conversation in the corridors, I'm assuming." Nora joked back, hearing the girl giggle a little.

"Yeah it sounded similar to my conversation with my sister Petunia—"

"You have a sister? This whole time I thought were an only child." Nora cut off Evans, apologizing as she let the girl speak, needing to get her mind off her own problems. "She still thinks me being a witch is weird. Growing up she and I never got along. I was always the weird sister, my parents understood just fine, but she didn't."

Nora felt like she's heard this story, letting the red head talk more, continuing to listen. "Anyways, this summer was probably our worst. I've never seen us argue so much to the point where she left the house. She has a boyfriend, she couldn't bare to look at my face so she left to his house for the night."

Not expecting to hear the ending, Nora knew first hand what that was like, looking down in grief. "Sirius left in the middle of the night. An argument with my parents was his last straw. He was always going to leave, I just didn't know if was going to be so soon." Said Nora, covering her hands in her sleeves, becoming so vulnerable.

"I guess we have something in common, our siblings leaving to not deal with us anymore." Evans told her, scoffing a laugh from Nora, not believing she said that. It didn't feel strange being with Evans as it should've, laughing with one another over their pain seemed normal; even if it shouldn't have been.

Nora didn't want to ruin it, her laughter slowly fading when she realized Evans was apart of a muggle family, immediate panic settling in and not wanting to change the topic, trying to calm down. "It's strange, all these years I assumed you hated me because of who I am, even if Sirius is your brother."

"I've never been like that Evans, i think it's a waste to judge one's blood status, half of slytherin doesn't care, it's the parents that do." The brunette explained, turning to look at Evans for a second, trying to sound genuine.

"I, appreciate that. You're definitely one of the hood ones Nora black." Evans smiled, both looking away. "Hey, but your family is being safe right? Just with this war and everything, it just seems to be getting worse.

Evans looked at Nora, her smile going away to see Nora be worried, nodding her head. "We moved to my aunts, in case something would happen. Just two blocks down from us, those death eaters destroyed a home and killed the woman. It's awful out there."

"Yeah..." Nora trailed off, sighing of relief to herself, wanting evans and any other muggle born to be safe in this god awful war.

"We should talk more Nora, I don't know why we haven't before." Evans told her, being genuine. Nora, however was cut off guard, stammering a little and was shocked to that suggestion, looking up at her.

"Really?" Nora asked, sounding too hopeful. "Yeah! It would be fun." Watching Evans reach her hand out, Nora thought if was a little weird she was going to shake her hand, doing so anyways. "I better go now though, have head girl duties. I'll see you around the library?"

"Yeah." Nora smiled, watching the girl be way too excited, walking away with a bright smile on her face. Hearing her footsteps go down the stairs, Nora put her hands on her face sighing and wanting to smash her head into the pole.

The urge yell bloody murder would've suspected too many assumptions about Nora and her mental state, holding in every inch of anger. Nora didn't deserve to be a friend of Lily Evans, after everything Severus has done to her, Nora shouldn't be the next friend, realizing she messed up and cannot fix it.

"Merlin, please help me, just this once." Nora asked, looking up at the ceiling, hoping it did something. Yet it didn't, stuck on the astronomy tower with too much guilt in her head.

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Oh Nora, she's gonna have a rough year that's for sure hehehe