The Wonderground

11 - The Emporium

LOCAL PEASANTS

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!

They hoped it was a spelling mistake. There were hundreds of vibrantly coloured birds – dead – and strung up by their ankles, forming a feathered roof on the top of the building. Dominus Badgerheart, a fat, balding man with a wide grin and rolled-up sleeves, was standing in the doorway in a stained apron and drinking something cherry red from a glass tankard. He drained the vessel and threw the dregs into the street, narrowly missing Isla's shoes. There was a row of eight skinned carcasses hanging next to him, swaying in the breeze like standing bus passengers jostling for position. Badgerheart threw his arm around the nearest one and pushed it into the street, hoping to entice a purchase. Rose spotted they each had four tusks and six legs. She hurried past with an apology and a mumbled reference to vegetarianism.

"Let's split up!" said Jack, hungrily casting his eye along the horizon.

"Why?" said Elliot.

"Because, unlike you, I've no interest in visiting museums and libraries while I'm here," he said with a smirk. "I want to have some fun!"

Elliot faked disgruntlement but he could not really argue Jack's logic. Whatever Jack might get up to in this place, it would most likely be extremely dangerous and probably illegal. The exact opposite of what Elliot wanted, which was to stay out of trouble and to look but not touch. His finger was still throbbing.

"How about we stay in our history trip pairs?" Charlie suggested, winking slyly at Elliot. "For safety."

"Good idea," said Amelia.

"If you're sure, Amelia," blushed Elliot, trying hard to suppress his delight.

"Shall we meet back at the butchers in an hour?" suggested Charlie. But the others had already started wandering off in their pairs. Charlie ran to catch up with Jack, who was heading into a darkened tunnel.

***

Isla and Rose chose to continue along the winding streets to take in the sights, sounds and smells of the local shops, restaurants and market stalls.

Isla pulled at Rose's letter jacket sleeve and pointed up at a purple and green timber sign ahead that read:

MR. MEE'S MARVELLOUS MENAGERIE

"Look, a pet shop!" she squealed with excitement. "Maybe they've got puppies!"

They pushed through the door and a small ornamental bell jangled above their heads. Their feet crunched loudly as they stepped inside. Peanut shells littered the varnished wooden floor. A wave of downy green and pink feathers skittered across the floorboards as a gust of wind swept into the shop just as the door closed behind them.

The establishment was deserted, but they could hear a horrific screaming, wailing animal sound coming from somewhere in the back. The terrifying sound stopped abruptly, and an animated figure leapt through a pair of flowery curtains and stood, red faced and out of breath, behind the counter. He was wearing a pair of gardening gloves. His face was covered in scratches and his glasses were perched at a funny angle on his nose. The mauled remains of a striped bow tie were sticking up vertically under his chin.

"Sorry," he apologised. "Feeding time for the banshee." He plopped the gloves onto the counter and readjusted his glasses. His hair and eyebrows were ivory white, wild and spiky and he wore a periwinkle suit with a lime-green waistcoat. A huge badge in the shape of a sunflower was pinned to his lapel. The words 'HELLO, I AM MEE' were doodled in the centre.

"Hello, I am Mee," he announced with gusto, pointing at the badge.

"Well, duh!" snorted Rose. "I'm me too."