Even Birds Have Songs

29. Bitter-sweet Night

*Hazel*

(Three years earlier)

We were rushing down the stairs. Allen had been pestering me all day
to take my picture. I kept saying no because... Well... I was ugly.
But he was so persistent.

"Stop!" He cried.

"What?" I asked stopping where I was on the stairs in front of a small window.

"The lighting. On your hair. Its perfect. I HAVE to take your
picture!" He wined.

"But why?" I asked.

"Because I love to save the most beautiful things."

*

Allen Parish was a cutie, there is no doubt. He even decided to show
me how to play minecraft, AND he built me a diamond castle. He said
it was because all princesses of God deserved a castle, so he built me
one.

*

Him and I had been sitting at a table across from each other just
staring at each other bored. Then all of a sudden, I spoke up.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked him smiling.

"I don't know... Are you thinking what I'M thinking?"

"Don't know... You tell me first." I said.

"No, you go first." He started to smile.

After a while of messing around, we went for a walk down our favorite
hallway, it was green, and the shape of a 'C.' Eventually I pulled
the "gentleman" card on him, and he spoke up first.

"Well..." He started, "I was sorta kinda thinking that I really,
really like you." Allen said.

"I feel the same I said smiling."

"Really!?" He asked surprised.

"Really, really."

*

He was amazing. Truly.

We became best friends. We did everything together. We were inseparable.

He would always open doors for me, give me his seat, and was as kind
as a young gentleman should be! And actually... It was very
impressive for a 12-year-old boy!

*

There was one day, our last day, when me and Allen were in the green
hallway, and I was just sitting there in the windowsill, staring out
at the rain and trees, and Allen was leaning against the wall watching
me.

"Do you ever wish..." I started, "That you could take one memory, and
live in it forever?"

"Yeah. Like you just want to stay right there, in that place, and feel
that same emotion, and keep it." Allen said looking at me, and I
smiled as I turned to look back out the window.

"Exactly." I said.

*

The very next week, I lost the Angel Boy. Allen Parish. The most
genuine gentleman I had ever met. My best friend.

One day, we were fine, laughing, giggling, running around bell towers.
The next think I know, Allen is flat out ignoring me. He won't even
tell me why!

He ignored me all week, yet he sent some younger boys to chase me.


I was hiding behind a bush, when Gilbert Wright and his partner Sam
'casually' walked into the building behind me, then two seconds later
ran and told Allen where I was.

I was so depressed. I literally sat on a big rock by some trees all
week writing into my journal.

*

Days. Weeks. Months.

I spent countless hours sitting in my window seat, starring out my
window. Waiting. For something. Anything!

By the time the tournament in Erie came along, Allen completely
pretended I wasn't even alive.

*

That next Christmas, Allen's house burned down in a forest fire.

In that fire, not just his house was gone, but the Allen who I knew
was gone, too. He wasn't like him any more.

*

The next year, I still couldn't let go. Ella Dupree decided to trick
me into telling her all about Allen, then she used it against me to
try and win him over for herself!

(What a bish)

I had lost him. Completely.

But I met Riley Simmers, and he helped me try and cope with the pain.

And it worked.


For a little while.

*

(Present Time)
(December 13)

Dying.

It felt worse than that.

It was is my whole life had just been torn out of me, and nothing was
left but a few broken bones.

Gilbert!

MY Gilbert!!!

We're done!?

It can't be!!!! He loves me too much!! I know he does!! He has to!!!

What happened to "I love you Times Forever!"!?!?!?

He wouldn't lie to me! Something is wrong. Its not real. It can't be!

I went to my room and cried. I cried so much.

I first tried to call Charlotte, but she didn't answer.

Then I tried to call Riley. His mom answered but said he was busy.

Then I felt convicted.

NO MORE!

I'm tired of being treated like a mutt, like an outsider who no one
cares about. Who has terrible rumors spread about! No more. I'm done
with that.

So I called Jack. Then Aiden.

I apologized.

For I don't even know what, but I did. And they both forgave me and
apologized. Jack told me he was sorry for ruining my reputation and
would try hard to get it back. It felt good to get it all off my
chest!!!

I felt possessed. I called an entire list of people to make things right.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was dialing Allen's number, and I
heard his voice on the other line.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Allen?"

"Yeah..?"

"Hey... Uh, its Hazel. Can we talk?"

"Sure." He said. I could hear him getting up and leaving to go to another room.

Then I spilled my guts out to him. It was a big sloshy mess of my
heart that I just threw out at him. But he handled it well.

"Woah, woah. It's okay." He said as I started to sob. "Look, if you
don't like the opinion people have of you, then change it!"

"But how?" I asked through tears.

"Just talked to them. I know it works, because you just changed my
opinion of you."

"Really?" I asked, crying some more.

"Yes. And I would love to be your friend. You can call me or text me
any time you need. Are you coming back to debate next year?"

"Yeah." I said.

"Cool. Then I can hang out with you then." I smiled.

"Thank you, Allen." I said wiping away tears.

"No problem. Hey, I need to go back to my family now, we were
watching a movie together. I'll catch you later. Bye."

"Bye." And I felt so much better.

But Gil...........

It was a bittersweet night. I lost the love of my life, but basically
resolved all the problems of my past.

How terrifically terrifying.

*

The next morning, my parents dragged my outside to watch my sisters
ice skating race. We were there all morning. I legitimately sat in a
corner at the edge of the fence cuddled up in a chair holding Gil's
shirt, crying. My heart hurt so bad.

You know that amazing butterfly feeling you get from someone you love??

Well, I had that exact feeling, but instead of it feeling SO good, it
felt SO bad.

It actually hurt me physically.

*

At about ten, I got my phone and went to the car to try and call
Gilbert's house, since he was grounded from his phone for the rest of
break for yelling at his mom.

"Smello, this is Gil." I heard after a few rings.

"Gil!!!" I cried.

"Hazel! What's up?"

"Gilbert... What's going on!? W-what happened?" I said starting to tear up.

"What do you mean- oh my gosh. Did you get an email?" He asked concerned.

"Uh..." Then I broke down and started to cry, "Yeah!"

"Oh my gosh, what did it say!?"

"It said we were over and to not text you!" I cried.

"Baby! Oh my gosh, I'm so so sorry!! That was Nate! He stole my phone
yesterday and emailed people but didn't tell me what they said. I'm so
sorry! I love you so much!"

"Oh... My... frikkin cheese balls. I am so happy!" I cried through a
choke. "I love you so much!! I thought we were over!!!"

"No!!! Baby, that will NEVER happen! I promise! I love you!" Gilbert
said soothingly.

"I love you too!" I said.

*

We talked for the next hour. I was so excited. I was going to see him
in five days for the debate conference!

then I had to go and do random shtuff the rest of the day, and it was
depressing. >Insert dorky nervous laughter of an obsessed girl<

***