Who Cares Who Wins? (boyxboy)

Chapter 36. Into The Lion's Den.

"It's not a question of me being happy about it, is it? I know from your brother being homosexual is something you can't help. No matter how much I tried to understand and help him he just carried on sleeping around with different guys, most way older than him.... He was like a male whore...., he had no decency..., no respect for himself..., or for us. I was disgusted by him."

"You weren't exactly understanding or helpful though Dad, were you?" I gave him a steely, hard, long stare back. "I know exactly what you said to him.... The words you used.... How they humiliated him.... Made him feel small and utterly worthless."

I held back from revealing how I knew and who I really was. The time for disclosing that potentially dangerous information was not now. Saying things in anger was never a good thing. "We told each other everything Dad.... and I mean everything. We both knew we were gay and what the other got up to. I can guess why you chose to humiliate him.... All because of what...? Rugby? Or because you didn't want anyone to know you had a gay son? Well! Tough luck Dad... I'm gay and I'm coming out, loud and proud...... and there's nothing you can do about it."

"I knew you were gay before you even visited yesterday...., at least I knew that it was highly likely you were."

Now it was my turn to have a look of incredulity. "What...? How? I've never given you any cause to think that.... I've had girlfriends for heaven's sake." I lied, trying to keep the Clifton persona going.

"Indeed you have. Were any of them serious?" He raised an eyebrow inviting me to answer.

I shook my head.

"You may have fooled me at the time, Clifton but I learned a lot after your brother's death. A close friend at the golf club recommended me to an organisation that helps bereaved parents of gay children. They explained things to me simply and clearly. They were not at all patronising or judgemental. One of the things I learned was that a very high percentage of identical twins shared the same sexuality. It made me question many things about you that I had not previously questioned before.... Or considered."

"You actually went to a gay parents help group?" I asked disbelievingly, even though he had just said so, hoping that it would shift his line of thinking.

"Yes. Your mother went to dry out and I went to wise up. Okay....! I made mistakes with Clayton but I was damned if I was going to make the same mistakes with you..... As I said earlier I've learnt you can't help being gay....., but I want you to be the kind of person that your mother and I can love and respect....., regardless of your sexuality."

I couldn't believe my ears. My father was sitting there telling me that it was okay for me to be gay. It was surreal. "So that means you really are chilled about me and Xander, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't say I was chilled out about it just yet...., but so far he has acquitted himself well and seems a smart, likeable young man....., irrespective of how useful his father could be to me..., I hasten to add."

"So his ethnicity is not an issue either then?"

"Of course it is! I can't have you seen parading about with the likes of him on your arm, can I? What will they say down the golf club.... And then there's the neighbours.... Christ, Clifton..... You know how they talk. Lord and Lady Beaconsfield will strike us off their exclusive soiree invitation list."

A smirk formed on his face as he saw the shocked look on mine that his words had caused. He openly laughed. "I am joking Clifton! Close your mouth.... I can see what you have just eaten. What sort of father do you take me for? The colour of the boy's skin makes no difference whatsoever. It's the person inside that counts and he's already proved that he has a sense of humour and a quick brain. As to whether we like him or not, is all down to us getting to know him better...., and so far I can see nothing to dislike."