Loving the Scars (Go Up Series #1)

Simula

Simula

“How’s your day, Shammy?” Tanong sa akin ni Leigh, kaibigan ko, saka tinungga ang red wine nang tuloy-tuloy. 

Nasa isang rooftop bar kami ngayon sa Paris. Tanaw na tanaw rito ang ganda ng  Eiffel Tower dahil sa madilim na nga ang kalangitan. Open area ito kaya ramdam na ramdam namin ang malamig na simoy ng hangin.

Namumutawi rin sa gabing madilim ang bandang tumutugtog sa maliit na stage sa harapan at sa paligid naman ay may mga ilaw na mas lalong nakapagbigay ng romantic ambiance.

It’s a good place to have dinner with your partner but since I only have Leigh in this country; she’s the one I always came here with. 

“It’s tiring like always but of course, I had so much fun.” Sabi ko habang iniikot ang laman ng aking wine glass na tila pinaglalaruan ko lang ito.

I was mesmerized by the view. It didn’t fail to amaze me when in fact I’m a regular here. There’s something in this place that I always go back to.

Nakatitig lamang ako sa ganda ng city lights mula rito. I feel alive whenever I'm in the city, and I don't know why I feel safe and calm seeing the busy ambiance of a city.

It's Friday today kaya napagpasiyahan naming magliwaliw sa sobrang pagod namin sa buong linggo. Sunud-sunod ang mga proyekto at webinars na dinadaluhan ko. Whenever I feel tired and burnout from work, I always make sure to still enjoy the life I have. I gave myself a break from the world and had fun in a place where I felt safe and relaxed.

“I hear that you’re going back to the Philippines next week?” Usisa nito ngayo’y nakapangalumbaba na sa akin. At animong ayaw niya ang ideya na aalis na ako at maiiwan ko siya rito.

“Yeah, I have to. You know that I only need to be here for a year.” Tuluyang lumungkot ang mukha nito.

Leigh has been a good friend of mine. She has Filipino blood. Born in the Philippines but raised here in Paris. We always hang out like this for a year. She was living next door to my apartment. I don’t even know how we end up getting close. 

“I’ll miss you, Shammy, especially this.” Patukoy niya sa routine namin tuwing Friday. Noong bata ako ay iniimagine ko lang ang sarili ko na magtambay sa bar after a long tiring week. And here I am, healing my inner child. 

“I’m gonna miss you too. Don’t worry I’ll try my best to visit you here if I have some time.” I smiled and assured her that I would keep my promise.

Now, I can afford to go back and forth from the Philippines to any country. I can now buy things I couldn't afford when I was a child. Finally, little by little I can now taste the success I’ve been wanting to feel for the past years of my life. 

“You don’t have to, Shammy. I can go to the Philippines and take a vacation leave. You know, it has been 20 years since I last stepped on your country.” She smiled at me, excited at her own idea. Nasabi niya nga sa’kin na 9 years old pa siya noong huling balik niya sa Pinas. Well, ‘di ko siya masisisi, traumatic ang nangyari sa kaniya the last time she visited.

“You sure you can? I thought you had trauma going back to the Philippines?” Nag-aalalang tanong ko.

“I won’t go to the Philippines for my not-so-good family. I am going there for you, Shammy. Besides, I’m not welcome in our hometown. You’re the only family I have, aside from my Dad, of course.” Irap niya kaya natawa ako.

“I still have a week. We shouldn’t be talking about it right now, aren’t we?” Ngiti ko sa kaniya, saka tinungga ang kanina ko pang pinaglalaruang wine.