She was beautiful to the naked eye, yet I saw her imperfections. She forsaken my soul, so now I beloved her. Told me those sweet lies, just to keep my fragile heart near. Lord, why do I adore her so much?
It was like she had captured my soul, and had no plans of returning it. I was stuck in a loop where I could only love her. It felt as if she was the only one who was there for me mentally, emotionally, and physically. But I knew, we all knew, that was so far from the truth. But sometimes it felt like it was the only truth, no other way to put it.
My body felt ripe, raw even. Skin peeled and newly scars bled till it was no more. My brown flawless skin was now a purplish red from my neck and down. My face was swollen up like a pack of bees just came and mistaken me for honeycomb.
I use to be so...beautiful, now i'm all swelled up and unidentifiable.
"Hey." Beyonce spoke to me dryly.
I didn't reply.
"I said something Onika."
"I heard." It hurt me to even talk.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"My jaw." I pointed and she only nodded.
"I-i don't... Something happened. It wasn't me."
"Oh. So someone else beat me?"
"I know that shit sounds outrageous but it's true. I can't control when i'm in that state of mind."
"Get some help then?" I say looking back at her.
She stayed silent.
"I can't survive it any longer. One day you may get too mad and won't stop hitting. I'm not even as recognizing right now."
"You—"
"You can't even look me in my face."
"It's not even like that."
"Seriously? Look at me then."
She slowly turned her head towards me and clinched her jaws when those hazel eyes settled on my brown ones.
"I figured."
"I'm so sorry."
I nodded stiffly, "Okay."
"No 'I forgive you'?"
"I wouldn't even believe myself if I said those words to you."
"Actually?"
"Mhm. Everything is okay now. I have accepted my life."
I knew this was gone result in me losing my life. Why act dumbfounded about it? It was near if she didn't stop.
"Onika?"
My eyes reverted back to hers.
"I love you." She says.
I tilted my head, "Okay."
—————
"What made you take me here?" I asked.
"It's like a break from working and shi'. I know you be tired." She replied.
I smiled, "Thanks."
"I'm sorry again. My Momma sat me down a-and I fully understood now."
I didn't say anything but continued to look at her.
"I want you to be my wife and everything but the way i'm going about it ain't right... So imma vow to yo—"
"If you can't keep that vow then don't make it. It's only gone be another empt—"
